Girl Stuff
by the-voiceless
Summary: Ellie has reached a very very special point in her life where a teenage crush can take her and Joel on another adventure, and it all starts with the most unpleasant, awkward, scary, and desperate situation which brings Joel to breaking point. (JoelxEllie) Pairing
1. Chapter 1

**Girl** Stuff

"Joel, I'm hungry."

"I know. I am too."

"I'm so hungry my stomach hurts."

He looked towards the east, "By the time that sun comes up, we'll be right on over that hill. Sure there's a few things we can find to eat."

Ellie rubbed her belly," I hope so."

At last, at last they were clear of Clickers and on their way to the next town. This town looked like any other town that they came across. One with a big meadow, a couple of farms, an empty pharmacy and abandoned theaters with nature running wild through the street cracks and walls. Only this time there was a rusty looking carnival sitting all alone without any clowns or cotton candy.

"Whoa! Look, Joel! Is that a Ferris Wheel?"

"Sure is."

Ellie ran down the main dirt road and to the Ticket Gate. On top there were poster boards with pictures of lions and tigers and hoops of fire with clowns and elephants. Reluctant, he followed her through the ticket gate with a thumb on his rifle.

This carnival was the sight of lost innocence. His best guess was that the circus came to town on the day that all hell broke loose, and every family in this town were victims to the Clickers. No one would've ever seen it coming.

Walking, he gazed down upon an elephant doll with blood stains all over it, dry and crisp from years of exposure. He picked it up.

He shifted, "Can't stay long, Ellie... Gotta keep moving on if we want to- What the hell are you doing?"

Up on the control stands, Ellie was pressing every button she could. She kicked open a tin box and pressed the buttons, flipped the switches, and repeated the whole thing. Nothing happened, until a few lights flashed on and off, some light bulbs busted like firecrackers.

"Ellie come on, get down from there."

"No way," Ellie smiled," I've never been on a Ferris Wheel before. Do you know how much of my childhood has been taken away?"

He growled," Come on. Fun's over."

"The fun hasn't even begun!"

It seemed impossible; there was no way that thing was going to work.

He walked up," Wasting your time. This thing's been here for years, there's no way in flamin hell that it's going to-"

The Ferris Wheel beamed to life, slowly moving and breaking away from the vines and crust that kept it dormant all these years. The copper rust broke apart like sand, snapping in half then releasing to a rolling turn. The whole machine looked beautiful with its lights and flashing red colors and blue colors and green colors and yellow colors and purple colors.

"You were saying?" she smiled at him," Come on! I gotta ride this thing! I put it on Automatic, so we don't get stuck!"

"We?"

The entire wheel would pause at the landing zone below waiting for passengers and the seats swayed back and forth to every halt. It moaned deeply, it's arms and legs rubbing metal against metal like a dungeon door. Happy keyboard piano music hummed softly through the speakers adding more excitement.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!"

"Ellie!" Joel protested," That's not such a good idea... for me."

Not listening, Ellie bounced into her seat. She was like a hyper energetic hamster, cute and curious. But Joel needed to be the serious one here. Both knew they couldn't get sidetracked like this, it was too dangerous. He stood there leaning his body against the frame of the entrance and watched her enjoy her fun. He couldn't join her but he could strap her in correctly so that she wouldn't fall out and break a limb.

"Sit tight. Now you're gon' go around just once. Once only, then it's time to hit the road."

"Sit with me."

He didn't say anything. The seat already began to move without him. The wheel picked her up, lifting her towards the sky in a slow ascend upwards. Ellie frowned looking at him as she was lifted higher and higher towards the early rays of the morning rising like a beautiful sea turtle of gleaming shining colors of red, yellow, and pink. The light slowly casted over her like a blanket from head to toe, carefully highlighting her eyes and hair in pulsing shine. The whole edge of the planet was on fire, licking away the green trees and sweeping up red leaves like the feathers of a phoenix bird. Before she knew it, she felt like she was on top of the world.

"Oh man," she gasped, enjoying the first warm rays," Wish you were up here, Joel…"

Soon her seat glided backwards on the wheel, sending her back to the loading zone. Joel seemed to grimace, annoyed of the time wasted playing around in this abandoned place. He came forward and unhooked her from the seat before going to the controls and shutting the wheel off forever. Ellie looked back at the gentle giant and mentally thanked it for its ride. She had a big smile on her face. She'll never forget this. Ellie was about to turn towards Joel when she spotted what appeared to be… blood stains… on the seat.

"Let's get a move on," he called.

He tucked his rifle behind him, before turning his heel then walking on outta there. He had enough of this place; it was too creepy. Before he knows it he might see an undead clown trying to pie them to death. No one would want that.

Ellie glanced quickly back at him, thankful that he did not witness the smeared blood. The red stains looked fresh and it was pooled exactly where she sat. She slowly began to panic. What if she was turning? What if she put both of them in danger? Was her infection finally taking its toll? Her hands patted her shoulders, chest, belly, and legs. She didn't feel any pain from an injury.

"What the fuck," she whispered, trying to locate the problem.

Whimpering, she came to a 'Whacky Mirror" and looked at herself closely and carefully, turning in circles. Her head had doubled its size, her waist looked 3 inches wide, and her legs looked massive than her ordinary figure. When she would move, her image would change in the most bizarre ways.

"Ellie, let's go. Time's flying," called Joel.

"Be right there!" she replied and then whispered softly to herself," I just need to find out what's wrong with me, first."

She covered her hand with her sleeve and wiped the mirror down. The dust rolled off the mirror revealing a large bloody spot between her legs which soon began to tell her that she was in a lot of trouble. How was this happening? She didn't feel any pain. The blood couldn't be hers, could it? Unzipping her jeans and touching her panties, the blood was fresh and evident. It was warm to touch, almost hot, softly cramping her hips in the most uncomfortable way. Perhaps it's so painful that she's unaware that she's gone into shock? Should she tell Joel?

"Ellie!" he barked.

"Coming!" she ran towards him.

Her pants sending awful friction burns between her upper thighs, damp from the blood. When she thought about how damp it was, her stomach settled with a rather painful feeling when she breathed, almost like a balloon filling with hot air. Like a rock had somehow planted itself in her belly, making her feel heavy and grumpy at the same time.

Both travelers exited the park with silent companionship.

For the next 3 hours Joel had no idea of Ellie's situation. The town was far, far behind them, and he reckoned that the day had gone smoothly so far. But one thought lingered in his mind, which was the little girl walking next to him. She was more silent than the grave which was a problem because… she was never quiet for so long. His eyes darted her way. Her cheeks were blushing. Could it be possible that was her best poker face? He needed to investigate.

"You're bothered by something," he stated, lifting his chin higher as she glanced up at him.

"No I'm not."

He clicked his tongue, "Ain't foolin me, kid."

He glared down at her.

She bit her lip," Okay, um… What if… something… happened back at the Ferris Wheel? Something… that I didn't expect."

Now he's curiosity was up.

"And what was that?"

"Well…"

He titled his head," Go on."

She wiped her face," Well it's just something that's super… uncomfortable… and burning… and is… literally a pain in my ass…" she shifted awkwardly, moving her thighs back and forth," Also really sticky and… scary."

That last word caught his attention, stopping his tracks, turning his chest towards her entirely to earn all of her attention.

He grabbed her shoulder," Alright, what is it? You hurt or something?"

"I don't know."

His shoulders flexed," Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well it seemed a bit embarrassing if I thought about telling you and-"

"Hush. Lemme look at you," he held both her shoulders.

His thumb and forefinger opened and stretched her eye, looking for anything unnatural. His fingers checked her ears and her hair. Nothing suspicious. She didn't move as he began scanning her from her head, to her neck, to her shoulders, to her arms, to her stomach, and to her- Oh.

She noticed his reaction," What's wrong with me, Joel? Am I finally turning? Am I going to be a Clicker?"

He stood completely and utterly silent.

She gulped waiting for him to reply.

"Joel?"

With tears she shoved him," Joel!"

He hushed her," No. No. No, it's just…" he took a quick breath," Oh, hell. This is definitely not my area of expertise."

"Am I dying, Joel?" she whimpered, shutting her eyes," I fucking knew my luck would run out."

"Hey, no, you're not dying! Trust me, I know this. You need to… get out of those pants and quick. Come on. We need to go to the nearest water source and get you cleaned up. Now, you ok to walk on your own?"

"I don't think so. My stomach hurts. Feels like I ate a brick."

**Later that day**

Ellie bathed naked in the creek where shallow water assured her that she was not going to drown in deep water. All the blood flowed down with the current, disappearing over the ledge of stone rocks. Flipping her hair from her face, she stood to reach Joel's jacket and stepped out to dry in the sun. It was quite a filthy piece of clothing smeared with dirt, grass stains, oil, blood, and sweat but Joel insisted that she take it. After her pants were ruined, what could she do but to take what she could and he didn't mind at all.

Far on the other side of the water, he scratched his beard and wiped his face. His mind could not stop riding a tornado of thoughts. What to do? What to do? He knew that she was very tenacious and curious girl with a taste of adventure and suicide missions, but this…. This was a problem.

She'll want to know about…

Her body…

How the body changes…

Basically the whole speech about… _the birds and the bees_

She'll want to know about… the _difference_ between… a girl's body… and… a boy's body

The difference between… a man… and… a woman

Nope! No-No-No- No way in hell that he's going to give her "The Talk" and maybe there was no need to talk to her about the situation. Shivers went up his spine just thinking about it. Speaking of the devil, the little girl came walking up through the water with his jacket over her shoulders with her hair tied back in her regular pony tail shivering. He knew that she was halfway naked under his jacket, no pants only a shirt and her backpack dripping wet.

"Hey."

Saying nothing at all, he walked away.

**Later that Day**

"Hey, you've been ignoring me for the past 4 fucking hours how long am I supposed to walk like this?

It's true; he let her walk behind him with his jacket wrapped around her stomach covering her up nearly half naked without saying a word about it. Once before she had complained that her stomach was acting up and he didn't say a word about that neither. Once again she told him that her waist had felt heavy and uncomfortable- he ignored that too.

"Hey! I'm fucking talking to you!" Ellie yelled trying to catch his pace," We both haven't had anything to eat all day but that doesn't mean that you shun me from your conscious. Can you please tell me what's—"

He barked," I got nothing to say!"

She snorted," Well how about 'Are you ok, Ellie' or how about 'You're not going to die, Ellie' or even find a way to stop the fucking bleeding!"

He swung around towards her and she was right because her legs were spotted with blood, creating little streaks of blood running down her legs, staining his jacket and rendering it unhealthy and useless. She opened the sleeve arms and her knees were dry and crisp from walking too look and exposed to the air while her shoes were red with polka-dot spots. He took a long thoughtful breath before unbuttoning his shirt from his chest to his waist, stripping it off and handing it to her with very slow movement. Shit, this was every father's worst nightmare.

"Take this," he handed her his shirt," I'll look away," he turned his back.

Ellie stood there, realizing what was happening.

The privacy wasn't enough to keep her from blushing a deep crimson red because she's never seen so much of him before. His back was battered with cuts and bruises that looked like purple roses stretched over muscle and spine, giving him an attraction she never realized until now. This poor man had been through so much in his lifetime and Ellie pitied him while she suppressed the urge to caress his back and embrace him into a hug. Setting aside that thought, she covered herself with his massive shirt.

"Okay, you can turn around now…"

He turned to see his over-sized shirt dwarfing her small slim figure and if his shirt wasn't a button-on it might've been easily mistaken for a dress. She tucked in the sleeves and did her best to recede the length of the shirt to go past her thighs but it wouldn't. Indeed it did look like a dress. Fortunately she wiped the blood from her thighs so they were milky clean again. Her little hands stretched the shirt downwards but it didn't budge. Both of them noticed that her exposed thighs were particularly… revealing. It bothered Joel because she didn't seem to be bothered as much as he was that she was so undisturbed that she was nearly parading herself around.

"Ellie," he mumbled," Ellie, cover yourself up."

"How?"

"Um," he averted his eyes, lifting his chin to the trees," Try stretching it again."

"It won't budge, it's not stretching any further," she tugged.

Joel peered down cautiously watching her adjust with her little hands trying to pull his shirt down over her waist like elastic. His body was more massive than hers so it shouldn't be a problem.

He cleared his throat," Grab the hem and pull."

His neck still craned upwards, trying not to look at her too much.

"I am!" she pulled.

"Ellie pull harder, just try and stretch it," he watched her adjust from the corner of his eye," No, undo the buttons first then pull," he watched her wiggled the shirt," Oh for heaven's sakes!"

He kneeled down," Stand still."

The buttons flew off as he adjusted it perfectly to fit her. His shirt ripped, stretching to her knees. Her hand rested on his shoulder to hold her balance. He stood back up, turned, then began to walk down the road trying to calculate how much time they've lost and how much time they'll have to gain back. They lost about an hour. How many will it take to reach the next town? Could they make it before nightfall? Calculations. Calculations. Calculations. It didn't matter.

Today Ellie had become a woman, and it rested on his thoughts. She was still curious about where the bleeding was coming from. Tonight, he'll have to bite the bullet and give her "_The_ _Talk_."

**Later that Day**

"Now would you stop being all mysterious and tell me what's going on with me? I mean it's not that bad! No one's around here to listen to us," she stated, laying on her back glancing at him.

His fingers twitched nervously," Um, Ellie."

Oh the awkwardness.

He took a sharp breathe," There is something called…. T-The _next level_ for a girl right around your age. When something happens to you. Now that 'something' isn't anything for you to be scared about…. Um, it's when you bleed but there aint nothin wrong with you. You still got your health," he gulped hard," Ah jesus, Ellie, your…body…. Is…"

He fake coughed.

She narrowed her eyes," My body's what…?"

He gave a quick scratch behind his neck," You're…"

"Are you making a move on me?" she asked.

Shock hit him, "What!?" he trembled before her," No, no, no, no, no I'm just telling you about your situation. Explaining what's goin on with you. What I'm trying to get out is… that… your body is changing…"

She glanced down at herself," What's changing? I mean I know I grow taller and walk farther and run faster every day and someone told me that my hair might change color when I'm around 19 or 20 but I don't believe 'em…"

"Point is Ellie, that," he gulped," Your bleeding won't stop for another 3 to 4 days and that's not something that we're going to worried about. Now I'm sure there's something I can get for you from the next town we go to, but I need you to keep put and stay here."

"Okay," she stared thoughtfully," But what is happening to me? Is it something that I'm only going through because… I'm immune?"

His knee twitched, "No, this happens to every girl at your age. It's something special and what-not. Though I'm telling you right now that this is not a man's business so you're gon make an effort to take care of yourself when I'm gone. Go on to the river and wash up if the blood comes again," he looked far ahead to the meadows," There's a gas station about 2 miles from here. Reckon I won't be back for at least an hour or two."

Ellie nodded," Okay."

Not turning back to her, he said," Stay here. Wait for me. You have your rifle. If you see anything or if anything happens to you, you shoot. I'll hear the shot and high tail it on up here. Got it?"

"Rodger dodger."

**Later that Day**

Perhaps the blood was special. Ever since yesterday and the day before and the week before Ellie has been thinking about… girl stuff.

Her mind would linger on boys and what it would be like to talk and socialize with boys her own age, and what the community was like 20 years ago before the outbreak. She was a bookworm, always reading magazines and teen books about dating and hair and makeup and nails and salons and spa treatments and skirts and bras. But none of those books mentioned anything about blood coming between her thighs.

All those teen books were about different memoirs of 'childhood to teenager' with stories about abusive fathers and drunken mothers. But they also told stories of romance. Romance on boys and college boys with great hair and clean white t-shirts with blue jeans and black leather jackets. A perfect Prom Date.

"Weird day," she whispered as she thought about the blood.

Maybe… it was a rite of passage? All those books always told her about 'mean girls' and high school cafeteria 'clichés' and the vital importance of 'tampons' in the middle of the day (whatever those were). Maybe Joel wanted to keep it a secret from her because it was a dangerous topic to mention.

After all he was… twitchy the entire time he talked.

But she was still confused.

She'll get to the bottom of this when he returns.

To be continued:


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Don't panic, don't panic on it, don't panic on it," Joel repeated as he jogged closer to the station," Ain't nothin' you can't handle. Shit, you've been through hell and back with Bloaters, Clickers, and almost every goddamn hunter out here."

He squeezed his shoulder to his chest then rammed into the glass doors, splitting it into a cobweb disaster before once more ramming it open. He stumbled in with his rifle, aiming every whichway before kneeling down and quick-stepping to the shelves. Candy wrappers, soda cans, popcorn bags, and empty cans littered the place with difficult aromas and the stench of death in the refrigerators.

"Hunters," he commented as he gazed upon corpses stacked behind the counter and near the exit doors.

He turned on his flashlight. Hopeful, he searched for what Ellie desperately needed. Shelf by shelf he picked up every empty toothpaste box, candy wrapper container, and every hollow food can. His hands rummaged in a hasty panic as he reminded himself that this gas station was the closest store they'll have for another 4 days.

"No, no, no…no…no," he mumbled as he looked at every empty box," Come on. I know you're here…"

Determined, he squatted down and began to lift a heavy shelf. His nostrils flared as it was lifted entirely, creaking and moaning upwards. Beneath was a large plethora of unnamed products. Kneeling down he dug until he came upon a bottle of Ibuprofen, a medical box, and only half a bag of 'girl stuff' he liked to call it. Inside there was only 5 bags available.

"It'll do for now…" he mumbled, angrily throwing them into his pack.

In the time that he was gone, Ellie had taken another bath in the creek. The water washed away another tiny river of blood as she washed her thighs again with a rifle on her back. Joel had been gone for a good hour and she was getting worried that something had happened to him while he went on his special 'mission' as she put it.

"Where are you?" she whispered, looking in the direction he disappeared.

For the past hour he had been gone she's been developing questions for him to answer. Why did this happen to her? Will the bleeding stop? How can she make the pain in her tummy go away? What did it mean? Did this happen to every girl or just her because of her immunity? Was she dying? Was she mutating into the next evolution of humanoid just like the characters in her comic books?

"Ellie?"

She gasped," Joel!"

"Ellie, where are you?"

"Over here. Lemme get dressed," she stumbled, trying to cover up with his shirt.

She emerged from the water, stepped through the bushes, and to Joel who held up a small pink bag to her while he stared in the opposite direction. A tumble weed blew by. Setting aside the embarrassment, she took the bag and disappeared back into the bushes.

"Thanks!"

Not saying anything, Joel lazily rested on the ground wiping his hand down his face thanking the heavens this was over. He never had to do anything like this for Sarah; because she wasn't at that special age yet. If anything he needed Tess now more than ever.

That small bag wouldn't last her long. These kinds of things took at least 3 or 4 days to get over and not to mention the mood swings that she'll be having and lord knows that she has her moments. Common sense told him that she'd need something like tea or something warm to ease her pain. He wouldn't want her trying to sleep with something like that.

"Joel?"

Oh god what now? "Yea…"

"Um…" a long pause followed," I have a problem here."

Annoyed he answered," What now!?"

"How do I use these?"

All the blood left his face," What now?"

"How do you put these in?"

He growled," Oh fuck. Do not ask me that! Read the instructions!"

"The instructions were burned off."

Kneeling up, he said," Figure it out!"

Ellie whispered," Ouch, it hurts—"

"FUCKING keep it to yourself!" he scowled angrily, covering his ears.

**Later that Day**

Ellie had been walking like a fucked up penguin for the past hour, lifting one leg, then slowly lifting the other leg, then moving her hips, then lifting her other leg, and lifting her other leg, and moving her hips again. She had been shifting her body weight uncontrollably while Joel stood nearly 30 feet away from her standing with a hand on his beard, arms crossed, and humming to himself carelessly. He had been standing there for a good 20 minutes.

"Almost there," Ellie rasped," I just need a little more time. By the time the sun goes down, we'll be—"

"Oh hell forget it, come on sit down, we're making a camp, you sit here, I'll get a fire going, and you don't say a word about it," Joel stated, walking

"No, I can make it!" she protested, making one more step," We can still make it. The next town from the gas station isn't far!"

"We haven't even _passed_ the gas station! It's ahead of us! Not behind us!"

Her eyes widened," What!?"

How time does fly.

"Ellie sit down."

"My hips are killing me," she moaned, falling down on her butt," it hurts!"

The sun had rimmed the hills with shimmering light before making a deep echo of its disappearance, casting a yellow and dark twilight over them both. It had been a hard, weird, difficult, awkward, embarrassing day for both of them rendering each tired and useless.

Ellie lay on her back with both hands on her stomach massaging the painful sweet spots while Joel sat silent.

Dark shadows touched half his face, unable to completely look straight at her and confront her about her problem.

Every little tiny groan of pain in her stomach sent little shockwaves through Joel, as if little crumbs felt like boulders beneath his feet.

Or every goose bump felt like speed bumps along his skin as fear settled into his lungs like gasoline.

This experience was like receiving a paper cut between his forefinger and thumb; sharp, painful, and slowly, slowly, slowly, going away day by day.

For the first time Joel felt…useless to Ellie, unable to help her with her pain and discomfort.

"Just… tell me what to do."

She looked up at him.

"Tell me what to do."

She gulped," I'm not sure what you could do. My hips hurt. My stomach feels weird."

Pushing himself forward he opened his pack and took out a can of beans. He propped open the lid then settled it near the fire. His jaw looked tight and squeezed with his neck.

"Joel, are you ok?"

"This ain't much, but it's warm and it'll keep you level. Right now your body is cold. A couple can of beans, corn, and pork wont' last us long but you'll need it. My plan is that we keep your body temperature up and stay close to that water over there. You'll need to be clean as possible. The blood will go away but it'll come back near around a month later. Reckon we can be prepared by then. Liquids will do better, but," he looked at her feet and whispered," you'll be alright."

She scooted closer.

"Please," she whispered," tell me what's happening to me."

He sucked in his gut," You're a woman now, Ellie."

He gave her a long, long talk that night. His words captured her, explaining about sex, sex between a woman and a man, and the blood was something special. He explained it almost like a gateway, almost like an initiation.

It was another night of pillow-talk, and Ellie had finally understood. It wasn't something to be disgusted by or terrified of, it was almost something to be proud of and celebrate.

So when the fire embers burned out, Ellie laid there with a warm belly; free of pain. She lay there thinking about how her whole life had changed in a blink of an eye. Chuckling, she fell asleep.

On the other hand, her partner lay with two eyes open with his mind wandering about that little girl who slept not far from him. It was a big day for both of them. Although he thought about how her future would panel out.

He sure as hell wasn't her dad; that's for sure. He would never be her father, ever. He was a father to one girl and one girl only and that was Sarah, the only daughter he'll ever have in his entire lifetime. So if Ellie wasn't his daughter… then who was she?

She …could be… a travel companion.

She….could be a partner.

But most of all: she was a friend.

Just because she was a kid doesn't mean that he could treat her like one. She could take care of herself. She was taught to hold and fire a gun, use a bow, and even kill a man twice her size. Hell, she could kill a whole team of men. Truly she was incredible. A cute zombie-immune killing machine.

In a way… she was Tess, only smaller and innocent.

A beautiful tiny adult.

For the next two days, Ellie completed and mastered the technique of cleanliness. She was no longer a panicked child, she was being responsible for herself while Joel stood somewhere not bothering to look or steal a glance to her playful activities. He felt it was right that she would spend the day with herself because he must be the responsible adult and let her… discover herself.

It seemed decent. It seemed kind and respectful and noble, but it only gave him the chance to be alone with his thoughts about his own little girl, Sarah. How he missed her! Her face and her blonde hair forever haunted him. It shook him to the core every time.

But when it came to Ellie, he just saw her as a companion. Not a daughter at all. Ellie sat somewhere behind him reading her comic books and it seemed that she was blooming to this 'new' change. How often do we find the ghost of our past? Not ever likely. It could never happen. In dreams, it might. But never in reality.

Joel was a man of reality. Ellie was a girl of dreams. Some people would think that the realists would find the realists and that the dreamers would find the dreamers, but it was quite the opposite. Ellie was a woman of dreams and Joel was a man of realities. Like warm wood next to cool steel. It's up to the realists to keep the dreamers from flying too close to the sun, and the dreamers keep the realists from staying on the ground for too long.

Like push and pull. Forwards and backwards. Forever moving in a dance of hot and cold.

The Next Day:

"The bleeding's stopped, finally. I have 3 bags left. It'll be good for next month I think," Ellie smiled walking next to Joel.

"Just be prepared. It's all it takes," he replied.

It wouldn't be so bad the next time, Ellie thought to herself.

Both travelers walked down the long road until they came to the Oregon and Washington borderline with a great big sign welcoming new visitors to Washington. The sign had been torn down, it withered and crusted with over-run moss and dirt, beaten down after the terrible years. Most of all, the entire place was covered in fog.

Big trees loomed over their heads like weaved fingers as they passed through the big open fields that was occupied by a herd of Elk. One is going to be dinner tonight, Joel thought. They pushed passed the over-turned cars, piles of corpses, and destroyed highway bridges.

Joel remembered visiting through here on a trip with his brother, Tommy, riding on Harleys along the coast going towards Seattle and Space Needle. They had only stayed for one day, but he remembers the roads and the beach and the tower in the middle of downtown overlooking the piers and the fishing boats. But he also remembered the houses, the big grand houses with wide windows and plenty of room to run.

It was a dream he made for himself and Sarah, to live out somewhere along the coast and spend the rest of their lives. He had thought that dream had died long ago with Sarah, but was suddenly revived when Ellie came into his life.

That is what all men want, right? That last_ American Dream_.

To be happy somewhere with someone you love.

This wasn't about him or Ellie, it was about both of them. Not him alone or her alone, but their friendship.

With every step through the fog, Joel became suspicious about the fog and what lay behind the blanket of mist. The sound of distant surf was clearly evident that the beach was close, with the sound of seagulls and washing waves.

"How do you know where we are?"

"Been here before a long time ago. With my brother Tommy."

"Is it always foggy?"

"Yep."

She groaned," Oh goody…"

With every step through the unknown grey clouds a broken vehicle would appear, then another, then another, and then another. As it inhaling them in further and exhaling the broken damage the Outbreak had caused so many years before. They crossed the highways and plains, over bridges and past mountains. Sometimes the fog would settle, allowing sunshine to gleam through it's arms then it would gather itself up and block the sun again. Not long into their travels, both of them came upon the downtown area full of looted shops, dead bodies, and violent graffiti sprawled across cars and brick walls.

The Space Needle tower was no longer there. The tower itself had crashed upon the tracks of the monorail, impacting the tram and crashing into the cement pavement below.

"Whoa, man… Some people weren't lucky."

"Yea, this use to be one of the most visited tourist site here and there was also the baseball stadium. I've told you about baseball, right?"

"Something about '_3 strikes and you're in_' I think…"

He chuckled," It's '_3 strikes and you're out_' Ellie."

They stopped.

"Well, now where?"

He scratched his chin," No we keep go to the West and there we'll find a couple of nice homes that you'll like. Probably be half destroyed but we'll have our pick."

"A new home? Cool," Ellie smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"I spy… with… my little eye," Ellie smiled," something blue."

Her larger companion glared at her from the corner of his eye," Water?"

She laughed," Yep. Because that's all I see. Water. When I should be seeing houses."

He didn't reply as he mentally agreed with her, since every house along the shore had been torn to shreds and blasted into the ocean. They both agreed that 20 years, just 20 years alone is all it took for the ocean to claim back its property with the help of the military, hunters, and looters. There were no windows, no doors, and no cars in sight. The tide swept over the sand and the houses with thick swirling foam before inhaling quickly back into a green crowd of seaweed and floating pieces of wood.

"It looks like a shipwreck dump," Ellie commented.

Joel mumbled," Stay close."

Within the waters, near the bottom, the fish swam back and forth dancing with the tide while looking up at the new visitors walking like tall shimmering shadows through the water. Each sea creature dove in between drowned school buses and trucks towards the crevice of the docks. Everything was destroyed. There was no possible way they could live like mermaids in this place, it was just too dangerous.

"Well, I guess this means we're going back to Massachusetts…"

Silence.

"Not funny," he replied.

She pouted," Now what do we do?"

"Keep on looking forward."

"To what?"

"To that," he pointed to a large hill where a large house perched like a gargoyle over the sea and the crashing waves supported by large wooden planks with a solid cement floor. The house had everything a house needed, windows, doors, and a big wide roof to protect them from the never-ending rain.

"It looks small," Ellie commented, jumping over a boat.

Joel lifted a door open for each of them," Well, it looks small. But it's got plenty of comfort. Just you wait."

Ahead, the cobblestone trail meandered upward into a quiet, tree-shaded driveway where a large gateway stood like a proud bird with its iron beak sticking outwards, sharp and noble. Both couldn't see the other side of the gate.

The Iron Gate was covered with overgrown vines, flowers, and wild bush. The remains of the man-made home exterior huddled against a slope of wild bush in what could have been-should have been—a quaint rich setting. Joel pulled out his shiv, clasping it into the bulking lock, then tearing it off its chain with a loud clank.

"Push."

They opened the gate with a loud moan, metal rubbing against metal. Joel and Ellie looked ahead and saw the mansion. A big grand mansion. They kept an eye on it as they silently worked their way up the driveway, the house peeking and hiding through the trees.

With each new view came more exciting expectations. The porch roof looked strong and sturdy. Its pillars still stood unscathed from years of neglect. The front door, as if already expecting them, was wide open welcoming its new owners.

"Oh, man…" Ellie breathed.

"Stay close, when I move you move," Joel stated taking out his flashlight, kneeling down, then quickstepping to the open door. He slipped out his rifle.

Joel stepped carefully across broken window glass, not to contaminate the site with his own disturbances, moving over gutted food containers, shredded wrappers, crumpled cans, and spilled blood. His footwork became extremely stealthy once he saw a fresh corpse lying near the staircase, so he moved slow and steady avoiding the softer areas that might reveal footprints.

Ellie ducked under a sagging bookshelf broken in half, pushed the broken door out of the way, and took a look inside. The shelves along the hallway weren't completely smashed, only dusty and depleted of its books it once had a long time ago.

A sack of pancake mix had been ruptured, dusting the kitchen floors and cabinets with a translucent layer of white. At her feet lay an empty bread wrapper, a can of Spam torn open and licked clean, a crinkled and empty package of potatoes, and a canteen of oil. Nevertheless, the kitchen had once been a temple of canned goods, pots and pans, meat, bread, vegetables, and exotic fruits stored in the refrigerator with heavy marble counters and a hardworking oven. Thinking about food was making her hungry.

"This place looks…looted," whispered Joel as he crouched down," Hello? Anyone still here?" his voice echoed.

"Yeah. Me."

"…..Real cute."

Crouching down, Joel opened the glass door with his foot where he ventured to the back of the house where a large pool had…one…two…three…four…five and maybe six dead bodies floating in muddy green water with geese and ducks quacking and floating in there with them. A tree house was cleverly hidden above a playground set. Wild grass grew everywhere like a wide savanna easily casting any predator in camouflage with wild rose bushes growing along the rim.

"A family home," he whispered under his breathe.

"OH, Romeo! OH Romeo! Wherefore art thou ROMEO!" Ellie exclaimed from the second floor balcony with her hands high in the air

Joel whizzed around," Ellie! KEEP it down! We don't know who else is here."

"You should check out the bedrooms up here! It's like living in a castle."

"Ellie, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait! You don't even—oh for fuck's sake!" he growled, running back into the house, up the stairs, and carefully peeking into the rooms.

She wasn't wrong. It did seem like a castle. Fancy floors. Fancy colored walls. Fancy this. Fancy that. The curtains were huge, strewn with gold and red designs. There was a fancy flower tapestry in every hall. Hell, there was even a family crest sitting on top every door and on every bath towel, as if living back in the fairy tale days.

Ellie ran up to him," There's no one here. All the rooms are practically shredded or burned."

"Alright," he peered in," Is there one we can make use of. A bed. A tub. A window."

"The master bedroom was locked on the other side and I'm out of shivs."

He nodded," Alright, lemme give it a try."

**Later that Evening**

It couldn't have been more than an hour since they crawled into their sleeping bags that Ellie sat up, blinked, stared straight ahead, and saw nothing. She turned her head, felt her eyes moving in their sockets, blinked to be sure her eyes were open. Where was she? The darkness was so total, so enveloping that she had to tell herself she was in her new home, somewhere along the coast in Washington, above a destroyed town.

She couldn't see the walls. She couldn't see a window or a bed. She groped for her flashlight and found it just inside her sleeping bag. _Come on, come on, _where's_ that button_? She hastily thought.

It clicked on and almost blinded her.

Okay.

Squinting in the sudden light, she could see the giant curtains encircling their sleeping spot like sleeves. She could see a few clothes on the floor, a dresser, and chairs, stark in the flashlight beam with nothing but bottomless black behind them.

What happened to the days when she would camp in an enchanting forest where she imagined elves and princesses and heroes had their adventures and intrigues and little bugs and fairy wings floated in the sunbeams?

Obviously, that was _then_ and this was _tonight_.

Suddenly she felt lost. Where were the rules now?

She was once a little girl. Now a tiny adult woman. No longer sleeping the woodland realms of childhood, but living in a large solid house of womanhood. What happened to the toys and nap time? What happened to not caring about tomorrow? Once a long time ago Riley told her," You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch… and you wake up on the couch."

She sighed, agreeing with her. Your parents will tell you when your childhood's over. It seemed as simple as that. Soon the next month will come and she'll repeat the whole thing again. Perhaps it was just… a wonderful curse. A beautiful thing.

"What are you doing?" Joel's voice made her jump.

Ellie settled, hand over her heart. "I-I thought you—" she stuttered," N-Nothing. Just looking around."

"Go to sleep."

She clicked off the flashlight. Now the darkness was darker than before and she saw nothing but afterimages floating on her retinas.

_Go to sleep Ellie_, she told herself. _This is my new life now. I just had to deal with it. I'm all grown up. I'm not a little girl anymore_

She lay back and closed her eyes.

Relaxing her shoulders.

_Snap._

She froze, her eyes wide but unseeing. "Did you hear that?"

Joel didn't answer. She wanted to nudge him but didn't. There it was again, only more of it! A twig snapping, a bush swishing.

_Crack!_

Definitely a glass on the floor breaking!

Now she nudged him.

"What?"

"There's s-something out there!"

Joel propped himself up on an elbow with a sigh of exasperation and listened for at least 10 minutes. All was silent. He turned around to chide her, but then- _Crunch_!

His stomach wrenched inside him. _Shit, now she's got me all worked up_. But he couldn't deny it. He heard it too; something was moving in the deep, deep, deep blackness beyond, somewhere inside the house.

He comforted her," Just sit tight and—"

The SOUND was nothing like they have ever heard before, and it wasn't quiet. It was so clear, so cloud, that even though Joel knew it was somewhere deeper into the house, it seemed as if it was right there next to them.

It was…

Like a woman wailing, wailing, wailing in grief and anguish, weeping over the corpse of a loved one, her cry rising and rising and rising and rising and rising, wavering and finally holding, then falling off into a hissing sob then… gone. Silence.

"Stay here!" he whispered hoarsely, throwing off his covers.

Ellie got her flashlight,

"Don't turn that thing on. It'll know where we are!"

"I think it _already_ knows where we are!"

Joel quickstepped to the open door," I'm going to try and get a fix on it."

"So I have to stay here while you're gone!? If that crazy lady comes in here while you're gone then I'm done for!"

He shook his head," _That_ wasn't a woman."

They waited. They listened. Was that thing hiding or waiting for them to come out first?

A growl and a short snuff. It was low, quiet, from the other side of the house, somewhere deep in the belly of darkness. Ellie envisioned something big, sharp teeth and a bad attitude as it crouches waiting for Joel. Not wanting him to endeavor this creature alone, she crouched behind him and followed in her usual pace. She followed him into the hallway, stepping over shards of glass and burned books. She retreated with him downstairs, carefully descending the creaking steps. Joel gripped his gun tightly.

Another _thunk_ came from the kitchen.

It was there!

It was inside.

Joel suddenly pushed open the swinging door, standing up, with his beaming flashlight, and looking for the sneaky beast. Ellie came right behind him.

It had disappeared.

His flashlight looked at the cabinets, the table, and the refrigerator. Nothing seemed to have breached the kitchen. They listen. There is no sound.

"Joel, look!" Ellie whispered, pointing to the dusty floor.

The pancake mix on the floor had been disturbed.

Four giant paws had penetrated the translucent layer, leaving an undeniable trail of the beasts' whereabouts and… the one thing that disturbed Joel was the direction the beast went. The paw prints lead across the broken table, onto the counters, on top of the oven and onto the walls eventually leading up…to the ceiling.

He gulped, eventually craning his neck up. His eyes followed the flashlight beam as it slowly, slowly, slowly, followed the tracks and then-

"JOEL!"

_WHAM_- he was tackled by the creature. It was big and heavy! He blocked its heavy short-snout with his arm from chomping his head off. Its gruesome fangs were drooling on his chest as it whipped its tail like a dog. The beam of the flashlight revealed its big wide yellow eyes, glistening in the dark like a cat in headlights.

_POP!_

Blood flew in the air as a bullet sliced through its neck, scaring it, pouncing off his chest and bounded for the living room. Ellie followed it hastily, looking at Joel and into the darkness, at Joel, then to the darkness before making a thoughtful decision.

"Ellie, don't!" he yelled.

She leapt into the room without another thought with her gun pointing with her flashlight. She crisscrossed her legs as she walked over broken furniture and chairs and television sets, turning her hips, circling around the room with hunched shoulders. Joel wiped off the flour from his face and followed her out the room.

_Thud!_

"its outside!" she whispered," In the backyard."

"I hear it, I hear it…" he replied, dusting himself off.

They exited the house, feeling the crisp cool air brushing from the ocean, moving the trees. The tall wild grass seemed to shield the beast, giving it the opportunity to kill them both!

_Thump!_

They don't stand a chance. If only they had bigger guns or a crow's nest tall enough to see the predator.

"The tree house," she whispered, building an idea in her head," Joel! The tree house."

He gazed up to the safety house, and nodded in agreement. He got one hand under her foot to give her a boost. The second limb she grabbed wore a shirt and gave away the moment she touched it! A bloody, broken arm dropped out of the tree. She didn't scream. The body fell from the tree in a slow motion eternity and revealed a wide-eyed, crazy-faced man dropped into the beam of their lights. He was upside down, swinging, flopping, limp and purple with death, his legs snarled in the branches.

"It looks fresh," Joel commented," Only a week old."

"We're its latest victims!?"

"Get up! Get up! Move it out of the way!"

The body fell to the ground, splatting against the cobblestone pavement. They moved, clicking their guns, and resting the butt of the rifle against their shoulders. The wind spoke through the trees like a moaning ghost, spooking Ellie that she began biting her lip.

"…Where?"

"I don't know," Joel stopped, trying to stop panting long enough to hear if the beast had run off somewhere.

There it was again. That screaming and wailing of a woman came from somewhere far away this time, perhaps back at the boat docks or beyond the cliffs. Ellie's legs crumpled. She went down and stayed there. The solid wooden floor felt good.

Joel crumpled just behind her, gasping, slick with sweat, wiping salty perspiration from his eyes. He was feeling his age. He sat there, waiting for another sound. But there was silence.

Both of them sat there for a good 15 minutes, feeling exhaustion sweep over them.

Maybe it was over. Maybe they had startled the beast. Maybe the rest of the tree house floor and a few precious molecules of oxygen were bringing the inkling of hope now rising in their hearts, the vague and dreamlike notion that they just might get out of this alive.

Joel pulled both his rifles out," That's it."

Ellie looked at him," What?"

He pulled out his map.

"We're moving to another location. This ain't goin to be our new home and quite frankly I'm tired of seeing these fuckin monsters everywhere."

She snorted," Well, duh! It's the apocalypse. We've seen Bloaters plenty of times."

"I meant that this is the first home I find us and it's already occupied by Bigfoot and the fucking Brady Bunch over there drowned in that there pool. Then the dead guy hanging like a monkey up here. I should've known. It was a death trap. And I lead us straight to it…" he frowned, feeling failure.

Ellie looked over the ledge and peeked at the ground," Uh, Joel…." she whispered to him softly," The dead guy isn't there anymore…"

His eyes glanced up at her, "What?"

_CRASH!_

The beast punched through the wooden floor, grabbed his leg and pulled him down! Sucking him down through the supporting planks and smacking him onto the ground!

His head hit the pavement. A blinding flash exploded in his brain.

Ellie saw him go down and she searched frantically for him with the flashlight.

"JOEL!?"

She saw his limp body.

"Joel! Say something!"

There was a commotion across the pool, in the wild grass. _Oh no, it's coming back_! Ellie climbed down the ladder as quickly as she could.

She sprinted to his body and remained there. Suddenly the beam of her light caught the silvery-green glimmer of two retinas suspended within a massive black shadow that swallowed up her light. This monsters shadow moved so fast she lost it. She found herself frantically looking for a weapon, a machete, or anything to help her defend both of them.

She hovered over him," Come on, Joel! Open your eyes!" she shook him.

Her hands searched along his belt and saw his rifle. He murmured something.

"I need you to wake up, now!" she hoarsely whispered," Wake up! Wake up! Come on, I know you can hear me— WHOA!"

His eyes fluttered.

"Ellie?" he whispered.

His back ached, seemingly turning solid and unmovable.

The beast had her! His flashlight caught one fleeting image of her body swept up like a toy, arms waving, legs kicking, long brown hair flying! The beast enfolded her like a blanket. _No_! His hand searched his pack and his belt—the flame thrower!

The beast looked at him with two huge retinas! The beast and he were creating a bond of threat by eye contact, challenging each other to a duel, like two moths to a flame. His head spun with a nasty headache. He put his thumb on the trigger. He was the matador and the beast was the bull. Elle was dropped to the ground like a doll.

_RAAWWRR_

The beast charged!

Joel pulled the trigger releasing a tongue of dancing flames. The scorching heat licked at the belly and mouth of the beast.

Slowly burning it to death.

It screamed and screamed, wailing in agony, pawing the air and falling over on its side to writhe in the burning heat. Joel stood up and went to Ellie. Both watched as the beast turned pink with burns, clawed itself at the neck, and writhed until it was dead. The giant orange flames grew taller and it highlighted the entire backyard like a bond fire. They sat there for the longest time.

Without saying a word.

Both of them climbed up and slept in the tree house until dawn

**The Next Day:**

Joel and Ellie pushed the body of the monster into the pool where the weight pushed the other dead bodies to the bottom of the pool, splashing little waves of crisp flesh to the edge. It wasn't the best burial they've ever seen. In the middle of the wild grass was a big black spot, outlining the body of the burnt creature. The flames had died out somewhere in the middle of the night. Joel was the first to wake up.

He ventured back into the house to retrieve their packs. His mood was solemnly quiet. The whole point of coming out here was to find Ellie a good home, a safe haven, the perfect nest. Somewhere quiet, a place where she could grow up without guns or death. Instead he led them to the dragon's castle. Maybe they'll find something in Canada?

"I want to stay." He heard a voice.

Ellie was behind him holding a pair of keys.

"What?"

She repeated," I want to stay."

His hands went to his head as if he could corral his thoughts," Ellie."

"I know what you're going to say… and I'm just thinking out loud here, but, I really believe that this place is _it_. This is _it_. I mean, it's a great house, a big backyard, it's beautiful and I just…_can't_…go back to sleeping in the woods."

There had been meaning in her words. Her voice placed double emphasis in her last 10 words. She chose her words carefully, trying to tell him that she couldn't go back to being a child. They both knew that it seemed impossible to retreat the path they've taken. Her life had taken a drastic turn since leaving the carnival only a few days ago, ending her childhood intentions forever.

"You almost died last night. Do you have any idea what that means for you, and…for me? For a split second, Ellie, I couldn't protect you."

She thought hard," I know. But we've came to close-calls before. We've traveled halfway across the country… and I'm getting _tired_," she lowered her voice," I'm tired of going _nowhere_ from _nowhere_. Why not stay here? It's a good place."

He shook his head in disagreement.

"I think we can give this place a second chance."

He stepped closer," Get this through your head. Anyone or _anything_ that puts you in danger or even comes close to harming you in any way… doesn't GET a second chance. Ever."

Her jaw straightened," Well, if I stay… you stay."

"How do you figure?"

"Because," she paused and whispered,"… you _care_ about me too much to leave..."

It was true. Behind his troubled and cold visage, he cared about her. That girl has traveled through hell and kept going. It was troubling enough they had seen horrors no one should ever see. But Ellie was special, she had determination and love.

He could see the hope in her eyes, the hope in finding that last _American Dream_ somewhere in this violent world. He brushed his hand over his face and looked up at the house, gazing at its beauty and harmless atmosphere.

Had there been any other option than traveling for miles and miles across the country with nothing and everything to lose?

They survived and endured through so much to live another day and to breathe one more breath and to see another dawn rise up from the ashes of cities and capitals. But why not live and fight for happiness?

Maybe, that's what he'll do for her.

He'll keep fighting.

"Alright," he nodded with his eyes shut," We'll stay."

**Later that Day**

"Looks good as new," Joel commented, stepping back," Now all we need is…"

"A couch and maybe a chair or a TV set."

For the past 2 long hot hours they swept, mopped, wiped, and cleaned the living room from top to bottom with two brooms and a trash bin sitting at the door. The floors no longer had broken shards, gun powder or dead roaches covering it from wall to wall.

Instead it looked polished and clean with a fresh Persian rug protecting it. The cabinets were lifted up to the walls, wiped down, and deposited with magazines and books within the drawers and shelves.

The couch was scooted back onto the carpet facing the wall. Ellie took the cushions out and beat them with the broom, beating out clouds of dust and grime within the sewn designs. Everything had been rearranged into correct order.

The couches and chairs were taken care of, leaving her the kitchen to sweep and clean. The white powder had been swept, the counters wiped, and the floors mopped. Every shredded can, paper, and burned book was thrown in the trash bin.

The fridge had been emptied of rotten food and vegetable containers into the trash bin and replaced with their own food of canned beans, canned carrots, canned peaches, and canned Spam. Their canteens of water had been placed in the freezer. Of course the fridge and freezer had no power to work, so it only served as a shelf and nothing more.

The corpses had been thrown into the pool, sinking to the bottom along with the rest. It had become a watery grave for beast and Infected.

Joel found a rake and began to brush the dead leaves from the porch into a large pile where he eventually set fire, burning it away.

He found a lawn mower in the garage. He threw off the blue tarp and revved the engine to life with the string attached to the engine. One pull- another pull- one BIG pull and it awakened with a growl. Within an hour the wild grass had been reduced to a manicured lawn, dark shaded grass and light-shaded grass stacked next to each other across the yard.

Today was essentially a warmer day, almost humid with the sun shining down and the cool shore wind blowing in. Sweat beaded down his forehead. He could taste the salt on his lips. The humidity microwaved him into quick exhaustion.

His shirt and pants clung to his entire body with sweat, adding weight and even more heat, forcing him to pull his shirt off by the collar and toss it on the bench. He stood there for a minute, not moving. His shoulder muscles and stomach slick with sweat.

The ocean breeze cooled his large frame, attacking his muscles with goose bumps, refreshing him completely. He stretched and looked at his completed work. An hour's work forced him to retire for the day, get dressed, and retreat back inside the house.

When evening came, they both sat on the couch in the living room. The tall curtains opened automatically, allowing another cool breeze allowing them to be refreshed once more.

"It ain't that bad," he murmured," Just a couple more days, then it'll be like new again."

Ellie nodded," It'll be home."

He grunted," No, it'll be home _sweet_ home, right?"

She smiled," Right."

They both say unmoving.

"How did you know?" he asked finally.

Her eyes darted his way," Know what?"

"How did you know this was home?"

Ellie nodded, smiling, looking down at her feet. It was a good question. How can any home in this world be called a home again?

Most survivors would loot one place, loot another place, and run off to declare a factory or a town a _nation_ by their own decision. But that was not a home. It was a dictatorship being ruled by evil men like David.

They were evil pirates.

But Ellie had a vision, a dream, and a hope that somewhere in this new world… a _real_ home would rise. An actual house of care, kindness and love, and she knew that it wouldn't be because of her. Ellie wouldn't be responsible for such a hope.

_It was Joel_.

She understood his terrible past, his long history of pain and loss, revolving all around his one true baby girl: Sarah.

The beautiful blonde ghost that haunted his dreams and inner conscious like a virus; once it touches you… there is no cure.

After 20 long awful years; Joel still loved his little girl. The broken watch on his wrist was evident.

He could have chosen to be a looter or a mass murderer, a man of evil and cruel deeds, but he knew that Sarah wouldn't have wanted that. He struggled for a long time; surviving and living.

That kind of love convinced Ellie that he would be that beacon of hope.

She replied," You just know."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

There had been no sight of Clickers or Bloaters, hybrid beasts or anything or anyone for days. The silence of the ghost town had taken a peaceful sleep ever since Joel and Ellie had moved into the house on top of the hill. In the hours of the day the weather would change automatically as if idolizing the mood swings of a sea sick crocodile. It wasn't so bad. It was quiet, very quiet and Ellie didn't mind being by herself. She didn't complain about anything, because she was so happy she didn't wake up and travel somewhere from nowhere. Each morning she was thrilled to wake up in a real, real, real home.

She was beginning to fall in love with the house already.

The beginnings of sunrise were always beautiful, and she would perch herself on the rooftop, gazing out to the awakening horizon over the snowy mountains. Each beautiful morning poured a great measure of bliss for her, adding to her happiness. It was a taste of freedom. Joel would be downstairs cleaning, sitting around, or cooking a small can of peaches for breakfast and supper over a workable grill.

The house, which they resided in, had been carefully tended to.

Slowly cleaning, sweeping, and brushing to return to its precise state before the pandemic. Like a wounded animal slowly healing. Each day the floors would be mopped and swept wall to wall, the windows would be cleaned, the sofa's would be brushed and scrubbed, and all the useless garbage across the perimeter would be thrown away and burned in the backyard.

It was all chores.

The faded horizontal clouds had turned a bloody tangerine color, fuzzy and tinged with violet like the inside of a conch shell. In the slow evenings when the sun would dip behind the ocean haze, casting the world into a soft and warm underbelly with the rising moon. It was the best time of day for Ellie and Joel to talk.

"I found a CD disk."

"Did you now..."

"Yea... It was all the way up in the bedroom."

Ellie waited for him to respond, before continuing, "It's by some dude… named… Stevie Nicks? Whoever that is..."

He grumbled," It's actually a _she_, Ellie."

"Oh."

Grumbling, he responded," It's a band called _Fleetwood Mac_ that Tommy was into for a while."

"Did you like them, too?"

"Hmm, I… never knew what I liked back then. Never much cared for it," he scratched his beard under his chin," Was a long time ago."

"Hmm," she nodded.

Her fingers drummed on her knee for the longest time, trying to find a way to keep both of them occupied until the storm passed. The dark clouds were wide and muscular like elephant skin, hovering over their new home like a stomping plague, casting wind into their clean bedrooms and flooding the bottom floor of the kitchen.

But something felt different. Unusual masses of air colliding into the darkness and leaking through the cracked windows, dripping onto the marble floor. The entire house had surrendered to the storms wrath, forcing them to barricade themselves into the main living room.

Ellie didn't mind, but Joel didn't enjoy the fact that the storm would possibly outlast them until dawn. But that wasn't the only problem.

Only one couch had survived the 20 long years of abuse, and it was only natural that they both share the cushion. He knew that he was a much larger man than her and she knew that he was half her size.

So her plan was to ease the tension by conversation.

…Which failed miserably.

**Later that Night**

Joel knew, somewhere in the back of his head, that he was taking up half the space of the couch cushion, but it didn't matter because the young lady sleeping next to him didn't move or complain.

Ellie was the first to fall asleep with her auburn hair nestled against his beard and face while her legs pushed backwards onto his legs and dangerously close to his groin.

Unconsciously, he brutally tortured himself with _thoughts_, horrible _thoughts_ swimming through his mind like unfeeling sharks.

He felt warm. In fact, he felt a little hot, and then he would feel cold quickly. He looked up to the domed glass on the ceiling and saw it had begun to hail. The snow-like rain collected together and slid down the curved glass in segments.

He shivered," Fuckin weather…"

But perhaps it wasn't right to blame the weather… for his…_awkward discomfort_… with his body. His legs shifted together tightly keeping themselves from entangling with the sleeping girl next to him. His left arm definitely felt sore and weak due to the fact that her little head used it as a human-pillow. He didn't have any excuse to move his arm.

Damn it.

Her tiny body was small and slim like a china doll, but it fit perfectly against his massive frame like two separate adjoining pieces. When she would move her legs forward, so would he. When she would move her shoulders, so would he. Like yin-yang; dark and light. He possibly wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

He felt colder this time. His shoulders shivered against his neck. The feeling was awful.

Slowly, he gazed down on her head.

This situation was almost as odd and awkward when Ellie held up that triple X porn magazine, looking at a full grown man's…_business_.

After that particular incident and her 'special day' surprise, he had tried his best to avoid anything that involved sex or anything _Rated R_ ever since.

He's been trying to keep it _rated G_ for Ellie.

But tonight seemed to be somewhere between the ratings of _PG-13_ and _PG_-15 due to his aching groin against her waist.

He felt hot again, swelling onto his neck and forehead.

Could he shift to his other side and sleep? No, because Ellie was still asleep with her head on his arm, peacefully dreaming. Could he scoot his pelvis backwards? No, because he would fall off the cushion waking them both and he'd scramble to give her an explanation.

**Later that Night**

He woke with a start. Eyes flew open. Goose bumps walked along his neck. His groin no longer complained. Something felt odd in his stomach. All he could remember was the discomfort in his pants. Maybe it was a dream. He couldn't remember his dream, if it was a nightmare or if it was a good dream. None of that ever bothered him before until tonight.

The storm had not disappeared through the hours of the night. He knew it was still cold and raining outside. Rain fell down in fat droplets, pounding on the rooftop like a powerful shower of arrows. Wind blew and hummed their whispers at the window, casting a spooky feeling through the entire house.

Lazily, he rubbed his eyes.

Stretching his legs, he studied his surroundings.

Something was different.

"Ellie…?"

Sitting up, her space on the couch was empty.

She was gone.

NOW where did she run off to? He swears that young lady has a death wish. He grabbed his flashlight and backpack (just in case) and began to search throughout the rooms starting with the kitchen. He pushed open the swinging door to see the kitchen completely flooded with rain water, crisp leaves, wet cardboard boxes, and tree branches. The puddle of dark water moved freely like a pond of kitchen accessories and wild life.

Light flashes—3 seconds later- thunder roars! Clapping and expanding its beautiful power from distant surf.

He quickstepped to the stairwell pointing his flashlight at the stairs, watching black shadows move in sync with his movements as he ascended to the second floor, stretching like rubber bands attached to the light.

He aimed his hand like a searchlight into an ocean of darkness as his panic-stricken eyes moved from left to right, excruciating pain ricocheted through my skull and he feared that bandits had stolen his girl away. His ears listened very careful to any sound, noise, or voice within this darkness. But there wasn't a sound. Slowly he realized it was _way_ too quiet in this house, this maze, this mansion.

"Ellie…"

Each time his foot came down, he could hear the floorboards croak, making him flinch then forcing him to slow down each time. It came to the point where he stopped in his tracks completely. He was slick with sweat, his cheeks burned and his arms and legs were numb. He forced himself into kneeling position and looked around at the walls, the top of the stairs and up at the unmoving chandelier on the ceiling.

"Ellie!" he hoarsely whispered.

The room flickered.

He glanced down at his flashlight just in time to see the bulb fizzle and expire.

The jaundiced light drained the color out of things. The floor lurched downwards and began to descend in slow darkness, as if he were in an elevator.

He steadied himself against a chair.

"Ellie…" he whispered.

He reached the top of the staircase. With great concentration he focused his eyes down the darkness of the hallway, as if focusing an image through a picture camera.

Teeth grinding together, he smacked his flashlight with his palm, reviving it.

He aimed.

Holy hell the hallway was creepy, almost transforming itself into the dark skeletal lungs of a dragon, breathing heavily with the wind of the storm and grumbling with thunder. It was like… residing inside a living corpse.

Suddenly, there was something!

There was… a _noise_.

He shook his head to clear the noise. Nausea overwhelmed him.

This noise sounded…like…drums.

A drum softly beating somewhere in the rooms or within the walls or perhaps it was his heart thumping in his chest. Tossing aside his jacket, he took one tentative step, then another, crouching low and moving with careful precision, fighting to keep his balance on his toes, alert for this mysterious… _noise_.

Biting the bullet he whispered," Ellie…!"

Two gleaming orbs peeked around the corner, glaring wide, straight at him!

He froze.

A cat? A dog? It was something!

This _something_ jumped into the hallway," JOEL!?"

He breathed," Ellie!"

"Hey" she grinned.

He shouted aiming his gun," What is it? What is it!?"

She pushed him down the stairs," What? It's nothing. I'm tired. Aren't you tired? Boy, this storm isn't letting up is it? Better go down and—"

"Ellie! Damn it!" his tense shoulders dropped," Where the hell—What in the hell were you doing up here?"

"What's the big deal? I'm tired. Can we go?"

He stopped her," We'll talk about this in the morning! Now hurry on down those steps! Go on!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh!" she frowned, sulking.

**In The Morning:**

Joel debated for nearly 2 hours alone, walking aimlessly though feigning a sense of purpose. His brief forays into the surrounding backyard and pool yielded nothing. He didn't even know what he was looking for. Just only an hour ago he pushed another body of an Infected Banshee into the pool of death, watching it sink to its watery grave with the four-legged beast and other infected victims. The pool water turned black, like black paint.

"Damn…" he mumbled.

Had this been any other night besides the rainstorm, he would've been in a better mood despite the mysterious disappearance of Ellie last night. What was she doing in the middle of the night? Who knew!?

Gazing through the window, he could see her mopping the marble floor of the kitchen. It was his attempt at 'punishment' for her ignorance and recklessness last night. The entire kitchen was no longer a kitchen, but a large pool of critters and ducks floating in the muck.

"Damn it, Ellie…"

Perhaps, he shouldn't ponder on it anymore.

Inside the kitchen, Ellie smiled to herself, biting her lip every once in a while thinking about the room she discovered upstairs. Last night had been a very rewarding discovery. She had awoken to use the restroom upstairs which consisted of a pale bucket and a small roll of toilet paper, which had never been open. But beggars cannot be choosers. The sound of the pouring rain did not help at all, which only urged her bladder for release. Upon her return back to the couch cushion, she stumbled upon a music box.

The lid flipped open, revealing a dancing circus bear, and with the sweetest music she never heard before. She lifted the box which was made with a glimmering mirror, giving back her reflection. As history would have it; a family had once resided in this mansion. A family that had once slept, worked, laughed and cried together in these rooms and there was no doubt in her mind that there had once been a teenage girl living here 20 years ago.

Another teenage girl, dead by now, had posters plastered over the walls, a radio, a desk, a laptop, a large dresser, and a cabinet wardrobe in her closet. There was a large, tall, and oval mirror with pictures of dead celebrities, skulls, family members, and lyrics around her reflection cut from pictures, magazines, and posters. She also had a diary hidden inside her sock drawer.

Her name was Emily.

There was no last name

There was no date.

But Emily had written many entries in her diary.

There were entries, poetry, lyrics, notes, and secrets of her entire teenage life which all begun at the age of 13.

There she discovered… Girl stuff.

(A.N) Sorry it took soooo long! But the next chapter is where everything really, really, really begins... If you catch my drift.) :)

Comment!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

What was the first rule to becoming a woman instead of a girl? For many, the answer is to have thorough knowledge of lipstick and the many different shades it induces for a woman. For many, the answer is to know how to find a man, keep a man, please a man, and know a man. For many, it's becoming independent with a job, a righteous career, your own place, your own car, and security.

For Ellie, it was having the proper knowledge of your body.

Emily, the dead girl, kept magazines of facts about health and body and mind and spirit, which seemed a little eccentric for a teenager. Ellie read about having a period. The pictures and charts of the body and health connected the pieces for her, enlightening her curiosity about everything. It all made sense.

The blood was harmful, supernatural, or mystical.

It turns out the blood returns every month which should last only 3 to 4 days. She can control the pain by drinking warm liquids and cold liquids, and it'll be natural to experience cramps and mild mood swings during the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. It was also a sign that her body is naturally ready for sex.

To prevent any problems, all she had to do was to keep clean, stay healthy, and exercise.

This all fascinated her.

For many nights Ellie would sneak up to the empty room and continue to read Emily's magazines and journals.

Many of them were personal; and many of them were a bit private. But there was no harm done. Emily wrote about lessons her mom would tell her while her dad was out at work doing business. She'd write about sports bras, open-toe shoes, hand bags, and boys.

Boys were a big subject in her diaries, especially a boy named Bobby and another boy named Todd and another boy named Toby and another boy named Scott.

So many boys were mentioned, which didn't make sense to Ellie because there was so many other things out in the world that were more fascinating and fun.

Perhaps 20 years ago, the only thing that mattered was MTV, presidential elections, gas leaks in the ocean, meteors hitting Russia, Surprise Kitty, Channing Tatum, and Teenage pregnancy and boys and high school and cheerleading and finding amusement in people's dramatic lives like Jersey Shore and Catfish and Keeping Up With The Kardashians (whoever they were).

There were special events like the Olympics, New Year's Eve Parties, 4th of July, Football stadiums, Walk for Cancer, Kony 2012, and Red Carpet Events, and many other glorious important things.

These days it's all about shivs, bricks, survival, and Clickers.

"Times have changed," she whispered to herself, flipping through the diary, scripted with beautiful colored Sharpe markers, glitter dust, magazines photos, and pictures of Liam Hemsworth (whoever that was).

"Is this all that existed?" laughing to herself," All that mattered?" she asked herself, flipping after each glossy page and she peered into the keyhole of teenage youth of 2014.

Sitting stoically beside her was the bookshelf of musicians, artists, models, and actresses that ruled the World Wide Web kingdom. There were so many symbols that related to money, drugs, popularity, fashion, self-image, and sex. Tonight Ellie was learning about the fascination with boys and high school, which Emily referred to as a 'shark tank' in her entry.

"Joel never said much about the past. Maybe this is the reason why," she mumbled, peering into the empty doorway.

Ellie rummaged through the sock drawer and found a small red binder labeled "Private" on the front cover. Quickly examining through her better judgment, she knew that she'd find more than she bargained for.

The little angel on her shoulder begged her not to open it, and just go back to sleep downstairs where it's safe with Joel.

The little red devil on her other shoulder demanded that she open it and reveal all its dirty secrets.

Her fingers lingered on the book for the longest time, holding her breathe, before flipping it open and revealing very naughty pictures of grown men.

She gasped. All the memories of Bill's basement and private magazines came rushing back to her. It seemed that Emily was a fan of …. Playboy? (whatever that was). Ellie blushed at the size and length of-

_Thump_

Without thinking- she snapped the book shut, discarded the papers, and crawled into the walk-in-door closet. Her heart pounded! Her partner still didn't know that she snuck up here to read. Actively, she had hidden a shiv in her pants pocket. There was another shiv sitting across the room, but she didn't have time to get it.

She settled on her knees, ready to hit the floor running or defend herself in any way from this intruder. Squeezing her body into the clothes hanging on the rack, she waited and saw a shadow slowly move towards the frame of the doorway.

Her eyeball peeked through the opening crack of the closet door and watched the shadow slowly ascend over the wooden floorboards and onto the carpeted floor of the room. This must be a nightmare. The blackness crept like a paper bird, completely aware of its massive size.

Licking her lips, she noticed the shadow seemed to stalk something. It stalked any movement or sound. Every time she breathed, the shadow would flinch. Every time her hands or feet shifted, the shadow shifted too.

Ellie blinked herself to reality. It must be him. It must be him.

_Thump. Thump._

Her hands clamped over her mouth, shutting out any sound, tightening over her lips and covering her nostrils with her fists. The compression of her voice made her feel trapped almost prisoner in the closet.

Her eyes focused on one area, as if purposely casting herself into a daydream, but clearly focusing on the intruder.

It's getting closer.

Closer.

"Ellie?" a voice came.

It was Joel!

Quiet! Do not say a word! Ellie shut her eyes, waiting for him to go away. This was getting worse!

"Ellie?" his voice whispered, concerned and soft.

Something dropped. Suddenly, without a word, he disappeared from the room and slipped out swiftly. Something else caught his attention. She could hear his thumping footsteps becoming distant and out of hearing range. Silence followed his disappearance. This is her chance! Don't think, just run now!

Run!

Run!

Run!

Jumping to her feet, she gathered her pictures and magazines and dumped them into the closet. Shut the closet doors. Clumsy and full of adrenaline, she tripped and fell. Her legs ran down the staircase as fast as she could, stumbled to the bottom floor, skidding to a stop, and pouncing on the cushion. She tossed the sheets over her body and pretended to sleep.

**Next Morning:**

"So today I was thinking we should plant a garden. We could grow a nice, big, fat vegetable garden in the backyard somewhere. I found these little bags of seeds in the garage with flower seeds. I saw little garden gnomes too, they were cute. I saw a frog gnome, a flower gnome, a pig gnome, a dog gnome, and a cat gnome. Also since it's almost winter season, we should wait until next spring so the ground isn't so hard and frozen. There's plenty of rain water here. There's sunshine, too. Got plenty of space in the back we can use. We have cucumbers, lettuce, potatoes, tomatoes, cabbage, oranges, more tomatoes, apples, watermelon, and corn…" Ellie inhaled, taking in a long breathe, chewing her food nervously.

"Ellie, are you ok?"

Her head glanced up," What? No. Yes, I'm fine. I-I," she wiped her face," I just been having a funny feeling in my stomach."

Truth was she couldn't stop thinking about the dirty journal hidden upstairs in the closet. Her mind would flash to the picture of a man's 'business', wracking her memory, and disabling her ability to talk or think.

"Hmm," Joel nodded, eating his can of beans slowly," I wouldn't mind that."

Her eyes glanced up at him," Wouldn't mind what?"

She gulped, trying not to glance down. _Dear lord, don't do that Ellie_! She thought to herself, punishing her self-conscious. Her ankles rubbed together, creating warm friction on her legs and thighs.

"A garden, I mean, in the springtime."

"Ok. T-That's great," she replied, trying not to...look... Joel's man 'business'.

_Stop staring_! She thought as she chewed faster.

She wondered what he looked like.

_Ouch_! She bit her lip. Serves her right. The stinging pain halted her dirty thoughts.

Well, it wasn't exactly dirty.

She was just…curious.

It's normal for a girl her age to be curious about things like this, and especially after she peeked into the treasure trove of girl stuff upstairs.

"Well," Joel stood up suddenly, frightening her," I'll be upstairs. Have a feeling we got some raccoons messing around in one of the rooms. Don't want pests in this house. Now don't go nowhere, stay in the house."

"You're the boss," she smiled, watching him walk out of the room.

She double-checked to see if he was gone.

Her stiff legs and arms loosened and her back and spine melted from her rigid position. Finally it's over. She fell backwards on the couch. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, looking at the orange sunlight glinting through the windows angled upon the dome roof. What was happening to her? This never happened before. There has to be an escape from this delusional world of teenage hormones and sex. All these little tiny pin pricks ate her stomach. The bleeding from her private place had stopped, but left a strange and weird aftermath. It left something behind.

But she didn't know what.

After Joel left, Ellie went to the Billiard Room to lie down on the floor. She liked lying down on the floor. It's a good place to be. She can close her eyes and feel the movements of the house rippling through her spine. She can listen to the sound of her heart, the sound of her blood, the sound of the machine beneath her skin. She can open her eyes and stare at the ceiling, imagining it's her very own sky.

She tried this zen practice for about an hour, but the sound of her heart was too unnerving. Her skin had goose-bumps tracking all over her arms and behind her neck. She was thinking too much about the treasure chest in Emily's room. She was thinking too much about so many things.

The only movements she could feel were Joel's footsteps thumping heavily on the second floor, she could feel his weight pressing down on the weak floorboards, she could feel his strength lifting something or dropping something or moving something. She could feel him walking and stepping in one of the rooms. Then she wondered to herself (in secret) what would happen if he moved on top of her—

"Stop it, Ellie!" she yelled at herself.

There was no way this was happening! Get a hold of yourself! She scolded herself and she knew it was pathetic to feel these _things_ and then feel sorry for yourself 2 seconds later. Playing the '_Woe is me_' act as if she just lost the love of her life when, in fact, all she lost was her childhood and her… dignity? It was happening! The magazines predicted that her innocent visage would melt away within time. But like before being pathetic is not the worst thing in the world is it?

**Later That Day**:

Joel had been working relentlessly on the fire place for near half an hour, shoveling the ashes and removing the black soot from the tiny crevices. He wore a red bandana over his mouth to prevent coughing and swallowing the remaining black powder. He cursed under his breathe. The fire pit hadn't been used in years, which was perfect, but it seemed to have suffered from traumatic explosions from a gas leak. It was an electric fireplace. A brick here and there were missing leaving visible holes in the walls, while a massive black handprint completely covered the roof and floorboards.

But it would do.

The cleaning was done, now all he needed was the firewood. Winter would come soon, very soon and him and Ellie would need the heat or suffer from the blistering cold.

After discovering a strong axe in the garage, he went to the nearest tree with good height and width and began to hack away. This would've been so much easier with a chainsaw. The nose of the axe sunk itself deep into the bark, before squeaking and tearing off a chip.

This continued.

The sun burned down on his skin, it was a good day to work. His hands gripped the handle bars tightly like a trident and began to chip away the body of the tree. The trunk slowly began to dissolve smaller and smaller into logs. Sweat dripped off his nose and down his neck, whilst his back began to ache from swinging too hard. He shifted from one foot to the other. After one more powerful swing, the middle cracked into two halves.

"Feeling my age," he whispered, wiping his forehead.

Although he had been chopping for nearly 30 minutes, he had a good technique. The use of his shoulders, his back, legs, and arms were flawless. The swing of the axe came perfectly on his target. The weapon swung in big circles but it won't last long now. Joel knew that one day he would have to find another way to support Ellie, because soon he won't be able to lift a fork. His eyes glanced to the pile of logs next to him, wondering if they should be put to use tonight. It'll be raining again soon.

"To hell with it," he mumbled, wiping his face again," It'll do for now."

Unable to testify against the heat, he lifted his neck collar and took off his shirt. Cool air tackled his mid waist and arms. His entire chest had been slick with sweat and taking a shower wasn't a bad idea. The red bandana came and wiped down his waist and over his arms and behind his neck, before being tucked into his back pocket. His jeans stretched as he kneeled down and carried the large pile of logs with both arms back into the house. He neatly stacked them into the fire pit.

"Ellie!?" he yelled, wiping his hands," Ellie where are the match sticks?"

"Look in my bag. In the pocket!" she responded.

He wiped his shirt on his chest, ruining the white cotton quality and tossing it on the table. Her travel bag sat on the coffee table across from him as if staring at him with a mysterious aura. His hands rummaged through her bag until he found the little match box.

_Clink_

He felt something drop in her bag, hitting the bottom with a _thump_.

It felt cold and heavy.

His fingers traveled along the base. It wasn't the only thing he could feel. There was a bottle of water, piece of string, her stupid joke book, a used and broken watch, a brick, a shiv, and a hat. But what was… _this_?

It was metal or it could be rubber. It felt rubber. He reached down further.

"The hell…?" he mumbled.

Glancing down, the mysterious object in her bag glimmered. It was wrong to snoop and it was wrong to trespass.

Whatever it was caught his special attention.

It couldn't be a shiv. Shivs aren't usually this big…and long.

"Joel!"

He jumped, turning around and seeing Ellie holding a few newspapers in a bundle. Her bag fell to the ground. He stuttered. They both stared at each other for the longest time before Ellie scooped up her bag and peeked inside.

"What were you doing?"

"I-I was looking for the matches," he replied, chewing the inside of his lip," I found 'em. Soon winter will be coming along and we won't stand a chance against the cold. Figured I get as much firewood as possible before then so we can, uh, keep going..."

She nodded solemnly," Ok then, cool. Here are some newspapers we can burn."

"Thanks."

"Yea," Ellie left, taking her bag with her.

He watched her leave.

Something wasn't right. Do something! A feeling itched in the back of his mind.

Joel narrowed his eyes," Ellie. Wait."

She turned.

"Come on back."

"What?" her shoulders shrugged, almost defensively.

There were so many reasons to know why she was attempting to sneak around him; there is no excuse to keep secrets from him. She was acting strange and he didn't like it.

He hesitated," What's in your bag?"

All the blood left her face,"… What do you mean?"

"You're hiding something."

"No I'm not." Her eyes rolled. She was becoming defensive.

"Oh, you're not are you? You mind if I take a look."

"Why? There's nothing."

"If it's _nothing_ then there should be no problem."

Her hand dove into her bag and snatched out her joke book, then tossing it on the couch.

"No. No, you have more in there," he said walked up to her with three big strides.

Before he knew it, she snatched something else out.

"It's a flashlight. It's a flashlight!" she protested, holding it up in his face," I'm not hiding anything from you. I swear I'd never hide anything from you."

Shifting one foot to the other, he nodded," Alright, alright, I see it."

"It's nothing… So it's not a problem," she whispered, staring at him.

Their argument came to a sudden end as if nothing happened at all. Zipping her bag shut and giving him one last look, she walked away. The atmosphere became silent, but filled with mystery and suspicion. This was the household of Ellie and Joel, population of two, under management, protected by iron gates, infected with love, but growing with problems. Maybe it was home after all.

**Later That Night**:

Joel contemplated if Ellie was… lonely.

Sure, he was her only companion, but lately he felt that she was trying to do anything to stay away from him. It's true that he wasn't the nicest or easiest guy to be around. Hell, his own brother couldn't stand him. There was a point in his life when he wanted his brother to take care of her instead, but decided against it for obvious reasons.

Ellie began to walk a little taller ever since… the blood happened.

There was no way for him not to notice.

She…changed. She grew into something more. It was a time when she had reached a new chapter, a new starting point in her life.

Where she would begin… is where he would end.

"Hell…" he whispered.

It was a silly thing to think about. But ever since she changed, she seemed to avoid him, to stay away from him, as if slowly forgetting his existence.

Like a yesterday when both of them were in the library organizing chairs, lanterns, and books. It was in the late evening after supper. He had been stacking books on the table quietly. There was no reason to break the silence between them. It went along pretty good as far as he was concerned. Then she got up from the chair, walked, turned off the flashlight and went out. She completely left him in the dark. He waited for her to come back. After a few minutes of realizing her action, she came back and turned on the flashlight again.

"Sorry," she said," Forgot you were there."

He flinched.

_Forgot you were there?_

That's when he noticed she began to change.

When she began to forget about him.

**Later That Evening:**

Joel sat quietly on the cushion while Ellie slept on the opposite side of him.

The whole situation was backwards.

The situation was inside out.

It wasn't right.

They both shared the cushion, but now she's sleeping on the floor. Away from him. Over there. Not over here.

They always shared the couch cushion. Always. Ever since the attack of speed banshee, they kept each other close. It was the best way to protect her.

Was she doing this to punish him? What did he do to her to earn her silence and cold shoulder?

"Ellie…"

Damn it, she was a pain!

He looked at her and clearly she was a young 14 year old girl, but she acted like she was 20 years older. In fact he often had mistaken her as a girl when he should look at her as…a woman now. She had that wide-eyed freshness of a little girl, all green eyes and brunette hair. She was a pain in the neck, a blister.

But looking at her dressed in a casual t-shirt and ripped jeans with her sneakers it was clear that she meant everything to him.

He'll allow her to sleep, and he'll force himself to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow he'll try and keep her company.

**The Next Day:**

"Raccoons got in again last night," Joel said, eating his can of peas and corn, glancing up at Ellie.

It was the usual breakfast time with two cans of beans and corn with two bottles of water. They had one spoon for each meal with no napkin and no plate, with the exception that they both shared one table. He figured they have breakfast on the porch, sitting on picnic cushions with the fresh morning air pouring over the pine and listening to the musical chimes jingle with laughter. She looked tired.

Her food hadn't been touched yet. The morning had an awkward start. Her body language told him that she was fine. Her eyes told a different story.

Joel grimaced," Ellie, I'm talking to you…"

"Huh?" she peered up," Oh yea, I-I noticed. This m-morning I saw it."

"Today I'll go and clean it up. I'm sure I saw a bucket and a mop in the basement."

She nodded," I'm not hungry."

Scooting from her chair, she walked.

_What did I say_? He thought as she walked out into the backyard.

He watched as she walked out onto the grass with her hands holding onto her head, taking in deep breathes, and circling the tree house and pool like a caged tiger. Was she upset that their new home had already begun to tear apart? First they had experienced clickers, the hybrid beast, and now a couple of raccoons rampaging through the second floor.

Those damn critters.

When he woke up to take a piss, he noticed the bathtub had been used.

The raccoons had damaged a shampoo bottle, leaving an alien substance sticking to the bathroom floors.

It was sticky and slippery, ruining their only private bathroom.

Joel wanted to accompany her, but it looked like Ellie needed space.

_In Emily's Room_:

The crickets outside were chirping their harmonious tunes while Joel slept downstairs. The moonlight illuminated the entire building, kissing the buds of the flowers growing upon the vines against the walls. Inside the mansion only one room was occupied. Once returning back into the closet, Ellie made sure to lock the doors, close the windows, hide her flashlight, and keep a shiv with her at all times.

Ellie knew that she messed up big time.

She knew that she couldn't control it anymore. The teenage hormones are more powerful than she thought!

Maybe she was going crazy, but if that was case, then she'd accept it.

"What the hell are you doing to yourself? It's so stupid! You're so fucking stupid!" she scolded at herself looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her hands pressed onto the sink, supporting her weight while her legs twitched.

She pointed a finger at herself," Don't you dare read any more of those magazines! Ever since you found that dirty book, you've been acting haywire! If you know what's good for you, Ellie, you'll stop!"

She looked away from the mirror, pondering," But it felt so good and it felt so right. There was nothing I could do. I'm not doing anything bad, I was just _curious_ and I'm not hurting anybody."

She returned back to the mirror and pointed," How can you make such a big speech!? You are a fucking criminal! How dare you watch Joel chop the firewood and get super strong _funny feelings_ in your stomach!"

She looked away," How the hell was I supposed to know that it would make me get funny feelings? The magazines told me it was hormones and I can't control it. It's natural instinct. Emily even said she got the same funny feelings when she had a crush on her gym teacher and a boy at school."

She looked at the mirror," What's even worse than that! You actually went to the bathroom and masturbated with the picture of Joel in your head! Now he thinks raccoons came in! He had no fucking idea you used the lube you found in Emily's closet."

Looked away," I am not a raccoon! And that lube made the pain go away faster and it was still good to put to use after so many years."

Looked back," You're fucking sick! He's your best friend! And looking at him shirtless was wrong! Looking at his arms and chest was wrong! You have to pull it together and keep your head straight!"

Looked away," But it felt so good. There was no real harm done! I know there wasn't. I'm not doing anything wrong. I just used my fingers. Emily even had something called a sex toy in her closet (whatever that is) and I was scared shitless when Joel almost found it in my bag earlier. Oh fuck, what am I going to do now?"

Ellie glared fiercely into the mirror," You, Ellie, are going to pull yourself together. This is war of the roses! You have to control yourself and stay away from Joel as much as possible. Because if he finds out that you're experimenting up here, he's going to have a heart attack. These urges are dangerous, Ellie, and you're going to get through this."

The inspirational talk was over.

The biggest question was: Was it wrong? Or was it innocent?

Ellie sighed heavily, wiping her face and looking at the little bottle of lube sitting across the room on the table.

That little bottle was like a vessel of great pleasures. It was the holy grail to great sex (as the magazines instructed).

She can remember it so vividly, like a vision or a dream she can recall without any trouble. If she can sit in one position long enough and breathe, then she had the power to return to her happy place. The feelings and smells that her imagination brought forth when her fingers massaged herself and it seemed almost shameful. She continued to think it was innocent. It was innocent. It had to be! She wasn't a bad person to be doing this.

The best part was thinking Joel was _really truly_ touching her cheek.

It happened so fast and so suddenly, it almost frightened her. Butterflies zoomed in her stomach, rocketing her into outer space!

She imagined him touching her shoulder, softly and slowly gliding his hand to her elbow while he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. His warm lips lingered there for the longest time, enjoying the sensation with her eyes closed. The pleasures were incredible.

The Next Morning:

Ellie and Joel ate breakfast on the beach this time.

(A/N): Review! No haters! Thanks! Luv u all!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Regardless of the occasion, Ellie and Joel had taken the idea of having two adjoining rooms. They were settled into two bedrooms that seemed to have run the length of the mansion. Joel had a room with a King Size canopy bed, walk-in-door closet, a broken television, and an ordinary bathroom. It didn't exactly spell 'luxury' but he was fine with it. There was wood rot, and rats, mold, pipe leaks, and maggots crawling near the toilets and windows. It wasn't too much to complain about.

But he did have the urge to see what room Ellie has taken, and the curiosity is overwhelming.

He listens to hear if she's coming. There's nothing but the noise of rain. He takes one step. Then another. He opens the door and inches inside.

Certainly it was made for a princess; canopy bed, huge armoire, a window seat where she can sit and read books for hours. There are stuffed animals propped up with the pillows on her bed.

Even though Joel is where he shouldn't be, even though he and Ellie are barely talking anymore, it comforts him to be in this room. Despite the fact the past few days have been lonely, and that Joel would pretend otherwise, they _had_ been close.

Ellie's green shirt hangs from the bedpost inside her sports jacket ready to be cleaned for tomorrow. And from the door of the armoire Joel thinks he spots Ellie's backpack hanging next to a pair of binoculars. He tiptoes across the thick cream carpet for a closer look.

She has a dress inside. After a minute of simply staring, he rubs the hem stiches between his fingertips. The style is not what he expected Ellie to wear. He imagined something fun, safe, and carefree. With a skirt that would lift when she'd spin on the wooden floor. This dress is tight, dark, sophisticated. And, in Joel's opinion, totally wrong for her to wear. Though he concedes the red will look great with her skin.

But this dress?

It's like Ellie has something to prove.

That she's too good to care about looking good, about her appearance, or being labeled, or being judged. That all this is below her.

She wanted to earn his respect, but not as a child, but as a full grown adult.

_Later That Week_:

Ellie and Joel had lived in an oddly thriving household with fresh water dripping into bowls from the rooftops every night, fish to catch near the harbor, and fresh meat wandering in the nearby neighborhood.

Also they wanted to plan their garden, mapping out little sections of vegetables on a piece of paper. They wouldn't last a year without having some sort of food plantation. Ellie and Joel would work on it together. It had been thus the rebirth of their friendship.

Although they were alike in mind-set and morals, their views and scruples also ran concurrently. Unquestionably, Ellie looked up to Joel.

Yet that did not mean that she still fantasized about him.

Their ethics may have been alike, but their natures could not be more dissimilar. While Ellie was open and optimistic, Joel was dour and pragmatic. His pragmatism was often tainted to an unhappy degree with pessimism—and Ellie liked more than anything to be unbothered. Although he was unhappy with the new sleeping arrangement, he made himself available whenever she needed assistance with heavy furniture and hunting squirrels.

Outside their home the burning sun would rise and set, then swing around in the same position, and it continued for nearly 7 days. Fast-forwarding into time, going into the future, where Joel still had no idea where his young companion disappeared to. Ellie would read and digest every word Emily had to say. Emily's destroyed armoire still had her books inside, which Ellie gladly read every day and every night.

"_With this ring, I thee wed. With this body, I worship_…"

Ellie stopped reading her book beyond those words. All the rest about endowing worldly goods between the marriage of a man and a woman were lost to her. She was transported to that moment in time when she imagined a man putting a ring upon her finger. It was natural that the thoughts that followed were the recollections of their rapturous bodily union that same night.

So Ellie promised herself not to be so eager to have sex so soon.

You have to give your 'V card' to someone special.

"I have a choice," she wondered out loud," I have a choice to have sex before or after marriage. But what about sex before marriage? Can having sex exist with no marriage at all? I just don't understand."

There were so many aspects and traditions and beliefs about sex that it was impossible to understand them all within one lifetime. There were many rules that involved your virginity. Especially in high school 20 years ago! Emily wrote in her journal that it was a total embarrassment to be a virgin in your Junior Year, and you had to get rid of it as soon as possible. Emily thought it was stupid and so did Ellie.

So decided to take Fate into her own hands, she decided to have sex with someone she loves instead.

It was a reasonable choice. Making love to someone important seemed to be the most beautiful option in her opinion.

She set the magazine down and tucked away all the papers in Emily's closet and ran out of the room.

Today was the day that Joel was going to teach her how to garden. Back in Texas, Joel used to visit many vegetable markets with his daughter and picked up a skill here and there about agriculture. Since it would be snowing soon, they would only practice how to dig and use rakes and other gardening tools.

Skipping down the steps, she skidded around the corner before jumping out the door and jogging to the backyard. It was beginning to look like a garden already! She saw Joel had built a fence, a large wooden fence from tree trunks. It was well built, firm, and entwined with fishing nets. She opened the gate and saw Joel was shoveling out dirt near the bushes.

"Now, those rabbits are gon' to want to get to the carrots and radishes," he pointed with his finger," Grab a shovel and start diggin'. Start from that base all the way to the other side."

"Ok," she replied, nodding.

**Later that Day**:

Ellie stood, arms folded, before the imposing Greek columns hugging the doorway to the library. The blazing heat of the humidity of the previous days had continued unabated, and the entire ghost town was shuttered against the winter world outside.

She opened the door. Shelves and shelves of books were standing in neat stacked rows, but unfortunately, they had all been burned. Black chalk had done its worst to the bindings and pages of these books, marking a haunting atmosphere for this place. This unknown dreadful place had once been thriving with soft sunset colors and brown textbooks, sitting upon a sofa with reading glasses and a cup of tea.

"Oh, man," she breathed.

To Ellie this was a problem. She was running out of things to do in this place. Of course it was big and spacious, but the warmth and activities and all of its household things had all been burned away. Rotting away within the years after the pandemic, after the last shred of light had been wiped away.

The death of this library made her sad, because she had always adored books.

Ellie stood in the middle of the room searching for a survivor from the plethora of burnt books, but none did she find.

**Later that Day**:

Joel, alone, walked out of the house with a gun behind his back. Ellie watched this from her window seat while her chin rested on her overlapping arms on the window frame. The image of him walking down the cobbled driveway had been obscured by the heat waves shimmering up from the asphalt. Joel stepped through the black iron gates of their home and disappeared from her sight.

Ellie gazed down at the surface of the table and traced the outline of the initials that had been left there by Emily 20 years ago, darkened by two decades of waxy polish. She roamed through the memories in her brain, looking for an answer she wanted.

Should she ask Joel about love?

Perhaps it wasn't in his nature to answer to such silly questions. As she sat on the window seat she stretched out her belly, nose pressing into the air, and hands rising above her head. Maybe she'll ask him tomorrow when a new day is here.

"Well, I can't be late to my own party," she smiled.

She went down to the kitchen, busying herself while Joel went hunting. Dinner would be made soon.

She lifted her head, scanning the crowded shelves of the dining room. Elle had spent considerable time scrubbing the earthenware dishes and glassware stacked in the alcove next to the large hearth fireplace, and had peeked into the dark cabinet under the alcove but had been repulsed by the dense layers of grime that awaited her inside. The cabinet contained s number of antique bottles, among other things, though they seemed uninteresting at the time.

_Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!_

"Joel?"

She set down a plate and watched him come in with a large doe.

It was dead and bleeding. He tossed its large body upon the table, switching on the lamp, and began to butcher. He started with the legs and began to cut in a straight line down the belly. She skipped to his side.

"Whoa! Nice shot!"

He grunted, "Yep, well at least we'll have a good supper tonight. Hand me that knife."

"Get a fire going and get two cans of beans out, too. Get as much water as you can find. Maybe get some blueberries, too. Tonight, we eat like kings."

Ellie obeyed and prepared their meal on the table in the living room. It was her favorite time of day, preparing the dinner table. Joel served her a big plate of meat and did himself the same favor. She sat in her chair and he sat in his chair, apart from each other, and eating cooked meat. For a long while she observed him eating his plate. It was strange how much he focused his fork upon the meat covered in beans. She smiled, faintly, enjoying his company. That night they went to their separate rooms and slept with good hopes.

**The Next Day**:

The first thing that Joel had noticed the next morning was the large painting sitting in the living room, lying against the cushions. It was quite beautiful; he had to admit, but not something to have in the living room. It was a landscape painting, tall and wide with no signature which came from god knows where!

"Hey Ellie!" he shouted, never taking his eyes off the painting.

Something moved upstairs. She ran down the stairs, clearly excited. Bolting down the stairs and into the living room busting through the double doors with a big smile on her face, she skidded to a stop.

"Yea…?"

His finger pointed, "Mind explaining this to me?"

"It's a painting."

His brows furrowed," I know what it is. I just want to know what it's doing here."

"It's brightening up the room. It's pretty, don't you think?"

"Can't you just keep it up in your room? Got plenty of space, don't you?"

"Yea but it won't be special!"

"We got plenty of pictures all through the house."

"Yea, but I like this one…"

He signed," Ellie…"

He could've said something to force her to take the painting back. But the look in her bright beautiful eyes protested and won the war for her. Joel looked down at Ellie and the picture before giving an approving nod.

He let her have her way.

Not knowing what he was getting himself into.

His hand brushed behind his neck and went into the kitchen to get their breakfast meal. The door swung shut, giving him his own privacy. He looked back at the door and wondered what was going on. She had been acting so strange around him lately and it was shrouded by a cloud of mystery.

One thing that a person needed to know about Joel was that he never liked secrets.

Ellie had been avoiding him like the plague. It's as if he had been living all alone in this big house for days, with no conversation or company, while she acted like a ghost. Now she was beginning to bring strange things in like the red dress upstairs and the painting. What was going on in her head?

Joel inched towards the door and opened a small crack, peeking to see Ellie admiring her painting protected by glass and a wooden frame painted in gold. He held his breathe, putting his stealth to use, and watched her in silence. Her frame was so small and so thin. His eye focused on her for a minute before closing the door.

Once again he wiped his face," What are you not telling me, Ellie?"

**Later That Day**:

It was a sunny day, hot and shimmering down upon the ocean like fire. The warmth brought a fresh new atmosphere in the morning, awakening the smell of pine and ocean. It was a good day to work. The garden was coming along well. The rabbits were keeping out, which was good. Just a few more days of preparing then it would all come together nicely. Joel figured working in the spring would be a breeze. He was picking up the shovel before Ellie came running up behind him. She purposely took the shovel from his hand and threw it to the ground.

He shifted on his feet, "Hey! What's going through your head?"

"Come on!" she took his hand.

His feet dragged," What? Hey! No. Today we're supposed to work. No Ellie, this has to get done."

"I need to tell you something," she retorted.

"Well, spit it out!" he grunted.

What could be so important?

Maybe it was an intruder!

Then suddenly he grabbed his rifle," Is someone or something here!?"

"No!"

When she finished dragging him inside the living room, she stood back from the painting and to the rest of the room. All the doors and window doors were locked and the furniture had been rearranged into a big circle, like the middle of a circus. She posed.

"Today is a holiday, you know," said Ellie, holding her hips with her hands," You're not supposed to be working."

"Tell that to the world," Joel replied, hugging his rifle with his unoccupied arm.

She smiled," No, really. Today is a holiday. We shouldn't work."

Believing this to be silly, he responded," Ellie, I don't think this time of year has any special occasions. Now maybe 20 years ago we had—"

"It's my birthday," she blurted out.

The good thing is, Joel was already sitting down when she announced her birthday and he envisioned her red dress upstairs. There was no doubt in his mind that she was preparing for her birthday behind his back the entire time. His face froze with his eyes wandering around, trying to recollect her words and processing them over and over again. Those words rung in his ears for the longest time, before he snapped back to reality.

His left foot shifted.

His tongue licked in his upper lip," Come again?"

"It's my birthday."

Ellie had no intention to shock Joel into horror, but the look in his eyes rendered her puzzled.

"What's wrong? Didn't you celebrate birthdays in your time?"

"Yes, of course," he squeezed his palms," Just surprised you didn't tell me."

Her brow rose," Tell you? Why would I tell you?"

He stood up," You didn't have to keep it a secret from me this whole time. You could've said something to me. You could've said anything to me, anything at all," his cheeks warmed and he looked away, whispering," I would've… got you something. Maybe I'd given one of your magazines or anything really."

She chuckled," What do you mean? Like…a gift? Why?"

He couldn't believe his ears.

"Don't you know that people receive gifts on their birthdays?"

For a second, he glanced down at his watch.

"No. I didn't know that."

Maybe it was possible that she grew up more differently than he expected. At the same time, it did make sense. What made a good gift in the world these days? Shivs and guns?

Joel sucked in his breathe," Here's how we're going to play this out. You do whatever you need to do. Run, play, laugh, sing, whichever makes you the happiest," he walked towards the door, pointing with his thumb," And I'll be out there getting things done."

"What?" she stepped forward," That's not what people do on their birthday!"

"Ellie, work needs to get done. End of story."

She stepped forward, "What's more important here, Joel? Is it a vegetable garden that doesn't exist yet or the important celebration of someone's birth?"

"What's _important_ is the _food_ that's going to come out of that garden. So it can _feed_ you so you can _live_ for your next birthday. That's important here…" he glanced over his shoulder," End of story."

She snorted," Pfft, some _gift_."

Between the two of them, they knew that it was important to spend time together. Living in this place was a privilege, but sometimes the walls would seem so wide and empty the loneliness would sink in. They were both thinking the same thing. They hadn't talked to each other for a long time, which seemed ridiculous after crossing the country corner to corner. There had always been an idea of connecting over a meal, but that certainly didn't happen.

Ellie was left alone with the painting looming over her like a beautiful golden mirage, unbelievably perfect from the decades of neglect. She decided that she would move it to her room, picking up each corner and pulling it up the staircase, cautiously optimistic about her choice. Carefully she placed the painting near her window, perfectly secluded within the sunlight, away from the darkness.

Ellie's saddened eyes looked towards the door, thinking about her companion sweating in the sun outside, digging with a shovel. She sat upon her bed softly, kicking off her shoes, and laying her head on her pillow. Thoughts of shovels and digging and dirt already exhausted her; replaying the events of last week in her brain.

She sighed," Some gift…"

Before rolling over, disheartened, and falling into a dreamless sleep. Thinking of more important things that were so-called… _important_.

_Later That Day_:

Ellie's eyes fluttered open and she thought she could smell fresh bread. She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders and rose from her bed, groggy and half-awake. She dragged her feet and peered out the opening in the door and there was no one. She walked over, opened her thin curtains and glancing out the window. Across the courtyard, a pigeon was perched on the rooftop of the billiard room. Within the distant darkened windows of the building, someone swung back the first panel of the door shutters. The man was large and tall and no doubt it was Joel, bending to lift a few couch cushions and tables. He always told her that he was going to build the billiard room into a safe haven and storage; to keep their weapons, extra food, and armored car doors.

She remembered he had work in the garden.

She sat there, thinking of ways to talk to him. Something to ease the loneliness between them and be rid of the silence! A clunk from the loose board in the stairwell warned her that someone was coming. Moments later there was a soft knock at the door. Ellie pressed her face against the door frame and squinted through the crack. She could just make out a shape that was tall enough to be Joel.

"Ellie?"

He moved and the hand knocked again.

Ellie slid the lock and positioned one foot an inch away to hold the door while she assured herself that Joel wasn't going to come inside.

"Joel," she said, locking the door again," Thank you."

He put a tray in her hands," Did you sleep well?"

Ellie shrugged, "Yea."

"I brought you dinner. Beans, again, with blueberries and the meat I got the night before," he lowered his head, trying not to look at her, with a dark shadow casted over his face," You slept the whole day."

"I was tired," she lied.

He nodded his head before swallowing, "I understand."

What Ellie had noticed was the tray of food. Both knew better than to have such large portions of food on their plate. The meat looked good and plentiful. It also seemed so strange to her, to see him give her this meal in this fashion. In so many ways, it was almost an apology. Joel was trying to apologize for his statement he made earlier, trying to measure his apology with meat. Of course her birthday was important and that he was completely out of line to deny her the entire day.

He made a mess of things. Once he made a mistake, he thought of every which way to fix it again, to make things for the better. That ship sailed a long time ago. Now look at them, one standing awkwardly behind the door with a tray and the other standing alone in the hallway unable to talk.

Without another word—she shut the door.

Ellie, suffering from a reluctant appetite tonight, ate what she could. Every little bite took minutes to achieve, which soon grew to nearly 2 hours of completing her meal. Becoming numb wasn't pleasant.

So she had an idea!

One last chance to make her day a little better; she put on her dress. The dress slipped out of her travel pack, unfolding to its true beauty. The fabric was nice. It smelled funny, though. Careful with the stitching, she tossed it over her head. It reached her knees, gripping her hips, and clenching her thighs like a plastic glove. Her body didn't actually agree with it. Her stomach still seemed a bit round, like baby fat. Nevertheless it looked okay. Not '_sexy_' or '_flirtatious_' or 'promiscuous' like it said in the magazines, but still quite lovely.

It wasn't '_stone cold fox_' material, but it was _nice_.

Just regular…_nice_.

Maybe she was trying too hard.

Ellie heard the door open.

Quickly she stood up—completely frozen.

"J-Joel!?"

He came in, shaking his head," Ellie, hear me out, I know that there was times that I—"he looked at her," W-What is that?"

She blushed," I-It's a dress. I-I found a dress. There was a dress. It's a dress."

"I can see that. I can see that clearly," he chewed on the inside of his cheek," But is wearing that really important?"

"Is that your question of the day?" she asked darkly.

"Ok," he paused, giving in some thought before continuing," I deserved that. But hear me out."

She hugged her pillow," Ok. Shoot."

"I know that today was a special occasion. I know that today was…technically a holiday. And I know that I didn't care to do anything about it. It was important to you. I was too set in my ways to care. There was no excuse on my part. I should've seen it in your perspective. I should've seen it through your eyes," his dark eyes carried sincerity when he looked at her," And…I… respectfully **apologize** to you, Ellie."

_Shit_ she thought while looking into his eyes, remembering all the times she thought she could see the universe in him.

He was a simple man.

Simple men make mistakes.

But Ellie knew he wasn't simple.

He was Joel.

Shaking his head, he whispered," Will you forgive me?"

She hugged her pillow tighter, unsure, but understanding of his apology," Did you mean what you said?"

He took a big step forward.

"You have my word," Joel said across the room," Yes. Before you think this day is over, I would ask you to wait until you have seen what I have to offer." His voice dropped again, and though she told herself she was focusing only on the painting, her curious ears strained to hear what else Joel had to say.

The words were too muffled to make out.

_New feet within my garden go_, she thought he said, _New fingers stir the sod_.

She turned to him, listening.

"_A troubadour upon the elm_

_Betrays the solitude_

_New children play upon the green_

_New weary sleep below_

_And still the pensive spring returns_

_And still the punctual slow__"_

Then she could not hear anymore. Several minutes passed in silence, Ellie's gaze traveling along the winding river in the landscape painting until it curved, vanishing into a forbidden wilderness. The painting was so detailed that she could almost recognize the many species of herb and vine, grouped vigorously together, as if night plants and day plants could all simultaneously exist, flowering all at once.

He turned her around with his hand and held up a green book. The book appeared still technically to be in use, as there were several perfectly mint pages in the beginning.

She looked at the cover," Who's… Emily Dickinson?"

He sighed through his nose," Don't know. It was always a favorite in the family."

While Ellie looked through her new book with a smile, Joel managed to penetrate to the heart of his matter. That was the part that troubled him most. Of course he thought about this _problem_ a long time ago, but it began to reoccur time and time again. Each time he pushed it away. Once it occurred again, he pushed it away. What will happen when she's a full grown adult? He warned himself of the imminent danger of _looking_ at her and he had chosen not to take his prophetic words seriously. Yet, within the course of the year, so much had changed. One year? It might have been 100 years, so much has changed. He sometimes thought the azure sky of this world had been transmuted forever to a leaden weighty sky.

Despite his silence and nature and demeanor, Joel had been marked by Time. His rugged face was an ordnance map of age lines and deeply sculpted wrinkles, which scarred his brow and carved deep channels in his cheeks from his nose down to his chin.

But here he was… looking at this enchanting presence before him reading a book that had once been a favorite. His dark eyes peeked at her ankles and only just her ankles. They were small, toned, and very petite. There was something dreamlike about her ankles that he couldn't chase away, not even if he tried.

_Oh, hell_.

She had better not wander off into the woods wearing that seducing dress, or else the wolves might also find her... appetizing.

Before his better senses could warn him, he looked at Ellie's face, staring at her cheek bones, her lips, her chin, and her eyelashes. Within the soft honey glow of the room, if he looked closely enough, her dark eyelashes seemed to be the most seducing feature upon her beautiful eyes.

Yet here he was, an aging older man shrinking before an enchantress.

Swaying back and forth in little circles, like a cobra before a charmer.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

"Joel."

"Yes?"

She gazed down the tower," I can see our house from here."

With no response, Ellie coughed before spitting over the ledge and watching a little white dot fall down the incredible length of the Space Needle Tower.

The Tower still stood in its same place, majestically watching over the harbor and the boats and the abandoned streets. The beauty of its height dwarfed the buildings below and it was a rare occasion that both Ellie and Joel could have together.

The winter has been very cruel, casting a white blanket of snow over the entire town, almost casting a cloud of doubt over Joel. But ever since Ellie's birthday, he has been willing to do anything for her.

She pointed in the distance," Look, I can see a baseball stadium from here. Back in your time did you ever see the games?"

He shook his head," Yea, I remember those days. Just fill up a case full of beer with a few steaks on the grill and sitting in the den with friends. But we were more into football than baseball." He pointed," It's the home of the Padres."

"Do you miss those days?" she asked.

He pointed again," Over there you can see a mountain. Can't recall the name, but it was known for its volcanic explosion back in the 80's. Don't know much more about it now."

"You really know you're history."

He sniffed," Well back then we had television that showed the news. Around that time Tommy had come up here for work. Then later I got a phone call telling me to turn on the news." Joel recollected the late night screen of the television screen and watching while the world burned on the other side of the state. "He told me he was coming home. By the time he got back to Texas, he said he'd never return back again."

"Wow. Shit really hit the fan, huh?" Ellie smiled," So I guess every place has their history."

"I guess you could say that."

She smiled," What about you? What can you tell me about Texas?"

Joel chuckled, remembering late evenings sitting on the couch with Sarah sweating with the fan cooler on. On Friday nights when she'd finish her homework and after her neighbor friends would go home until next week. He can still remember the relentless sound of the cascades humming in the wild bush.

"It's hot."

Ellie snorted," That's all you got for me? It's hot?"

After reaching the feet of the Tower, Joel and Ellie cautiously walked through the streets of Seattle. After so many years, nature has taken back its territory. Weeds broke through the asphalt in the streets and in the crevices of cement on the sidewalk. It was truly a dreadful place. Full of overturn buses, burned trucks, and broken buildings gutted from its standing point across from the ocean.

In the far distance, he spotted Clickers quivering and shaking their heads like a rattle. The city had been vast with fog and individual buildings puncturing through the fog and into the blue sky, touching the sunlight.

Both travelers walked alongside each other until they reached the highway, aimlessly wandering back home.

Many street signs were undecipherable, Joel searched for one, but there was no numbers or names. On one side of the street, there was a storefront, its windows boarded up. The building on the other side had been demolished. Last week's snow was scraped into heaps, and those heaps turned into stony gray drools.

Joel grumbled," It's a hospital."

"Whoa. I guess they had it rough…" she sighed," I can't imagine what quarantine must feel like. It must've been awful, to have a giant sheet thrown over a building like that and never being able to come out."

He decided not to respond to that. It was awful, back in those dreadful days of chaos. Instead, he continued to make himself more available for conversation. A more positive and appropriate conversation, at least.

"When we get back, I'll start a fire. Get some wood, cardboard, and straw. That way we can avoid the storm coming. Reckon we got some time."

"So what are we going to do when we get back home?"

Joel noticed the double emphasis on the '_we_' part as she talked, and the music in her voice told him that she was happy. In many ways and more than once, he noticed that she seemed to be becoming more like herself whenever she left the house with him. Despite the cold of the snow and the harsh elements of the passing winter, she bloomed in defiance of the cruelty. It's what he admired most about her.

He smirked," I guess… you could—"he quickly stopped himself," _We_ could go to the upstairs room and I can teach you how to play pool."

"I thought you could only swim in a pool."

"No. Uhh-ha- I don't mean in the water. I meant on the table. Some people can swim in a pool and other people can play on a table. I'll show you when we get back."

Ellie walked closer to him as they walked through their neighborhood nearly an hour later. She felt detached from the world and hoped for a better day tomorrow.

They arrived at their gate.

Joel had to open the three locks to get inside.

Ellie skipped to the door, waiting for Joel.

He took out the keys and unlocked the door, too. She looked up at him and sensed something was wrong.

"Quickly, quickly," he said, ushering her in like they were cops on a raid.

It was dark inside, too dark. Ellie needed a gun.

"Is there no light?" she asked.

"Shh," he hissed. "No light. Keep quiet."

She narrowed her eyes and whispered softly," What? What is it?"

His large hand pushed her behind him as he crouched down next to the door. The interior was pitch dark. Cautiously, he turned towards her. She was face to face with him, and he was tall enough to breathe on her head.

He mouthed," Someone or something is here."

Slowly, his finger pointed towards the marble floors. Indeed, something was here, and it trailed from the kitchen covered in white flour. Two people seemed to have exited the kitchen doors and wandered into the living room, the blank footsteps overlapping each other. His hand was on the small of her back, hurrying her upstairs.

"Hurry, hurry," he said, and she grunted.

"You're not going to do this on your own!"

"Ellie."

"No, fuck that, I'm coming with you."

"Listen to me, go to the top of the stairs and grab my rifle. Now I think the intruders are outside and I need you to cover me if something goes wrong. Understand? Upstairs," he pointed," then left."

She huffed," Yea yea…" She didn't want to go.

"Ellie," was all he had to say.

Upstairs she went, and then left.

She stumbled along the black corridor, her hands outstretched for guidance. She arrived in Joel's dark room. Her hands fumbled around in his closet, finding his rifle and crawling to the window. A weak yellow glow was coming from the garden.

The rifle felt cold in her sweaty palms, adding warmth to her arms. Her nose touched the frame of the window, before slowly raising her head and peeking into the backyard. The yellow light glowed in her eyes.

There were 5 men walking in the garden. Their coats looked heavy and dark with age and dirt. Ellie looked at them with disgust; they seemed to be no better than the nasty henchmen David used. It seemed they were circling around the garden and investigating Joel's work, before walking towards the pool of death and talking.

"Yea, yea, yea, I was right. Somebody's got the goods to take these fuckers out. It's no mystery that somebody's living here."

"By the size of that fucking garden over there, they're willing to stay here for a long, long time. But there's no seed. Nothing's sprouting out of there, yet."

The alpha of the group shrugged his large shoulders," Well, well, I see this as an opportunity. Not a challenge. Hmm, I've come to a decision," he turned towards his men, taking his dark glasses off," We'll have to negotiate now don't we?"

They shifted on their feet," What? Oh, hell no, that's bullshit. Can't we take out this fucker ourselves and get on with it!?"

"He's talking some sense, Benny man, it could save us some ammunition."

"The snow is already here!"

"We're fucked if we don't do it now!"

The alpha man tightened his throat," Forget the ammo! I decide we negotiate with this man or woman and propose a more peaceful plot," he stepped forward, intimidating and dark, forcing his men to step backwards," We either do this my way, or it's the fucking highway for your asses."

He had the last word.

The alpha looked towards the house with his dark blue eyes and thoughtfully stared. His entire demeanor had told another story, which seemed to intrigue Ellie. But that did not stop her from pointing her rifle right at his head. Her eye peeked into the scope, magnifying her vision on his shoulders and face. He was blonde, cleanly shaven, with a strong jawline and a red bandana wrapped around his neck. His jacket clung to his shoulders and he paced around with a strong leader-like stance.

"We'll wait until the new homeowner returns."

He smiled a genuine smile, before casting his eyes downward.

"I'll be very, very, very _sure_… to roll out the welcome mat," his eyes slowly casted upwards.

Ellie gasped as he looked up straight at her.

The scope magnified his smile.

Quickly, he turned and left with his men.

As quickly as they left, Joel came outside holding his rifle. He made sure he was at a safe distance and watched them leave along the foggy shore of the beach. When they had disappeared, he waved up to Ellie at the window. Relieved, she lowered her rifle and waited for him to return back to the house.

Footsteps came up the stairs.

Joel came inside, stomping" Well I'm not sure if you heard but they'll be back to roll out the welcome wagon. I don't like the sounds of that. There is not one damn thought in my mind to trust them," he threw his rifle on his bed, pacing," I don't like the guy. Do I have reasons? Yes. How many reasons do I need?" he glared at Ellie," _None_. I don't like the guy."

"Me either. There's something not right with those guys."

Joel nodded heavily, before slamming the door shut.

"Alright, we'll sleep in the same room tonight. I'm going to move to the floor and you go on and take the bed. I ain't going to take a chance. Those bastards might jump on us in the middle of the night. I've locked the doors, turned off the lights, and blocked the staircase."

She nodded, feeling the weight of sleep come down on her.

_**The Next Day**_:

Ellie sat back and looked out the window, wondering if she was trying to improve her appearance, or simply to have one. Next to her a mirror stood, cracked and cloudy.

She spoke to herself," Do you think he'll notice it?"

For days she thought her slender arms and narrow face would never go away, with lank and dirty hair. Her shoulders were broadening, her hair thickening, and her chin was beginning to square up. Where were her hips, too? Her body looked completely straight if she stood directly into the mirror, and in her opinion, seemed quite boring.

Women back 20 years ago had curves and thick hair and smelled like sex and strawberries. They were so beautiful that photographers from all over the world would take pictures of them and publish them on magazines called 'US' and 'Playboy' and 'LIFE' with glossy pages. There were actresses so famous that they would have the honor of pressing their feet and hands into fresh cement in a strange and unknown place called Hollywood.

But when Ellie lay on her stomach in Emily's closet that night, she read an entry journal about her junior year in high school. There was a boy she wrote about named Eric and she wrote details about her first kiss.

Emily shared a kiss with this boy in his car which was parked on top of a large hill overlooking the entire town. Her dad had forbidden her to leave her room, but he never said anything about crawling through the window. That night seemed so romantic and beautiful, it sounded like a dream. Bright lights, fresh clean leather seats, and smeared lipstick. Eric seemed to be her first love and she was convinced that it would last forever. But then later that month he left her for another girl with a low GPA and cute push-up bras. It devastated Emily, but she promised herself it would make her stronger and more independent.

That's when the gravity of the situation dawned on her, and questions toppled down on her like bricks.

How do you learn to kiss?

How do you know _when_ to kiss a boy?

Does the boy kiss you first?

Do _you_ kiss the boy first?

Is it awkward after you kiss?

Is it awkward before you kiss?

What the hell is a _French kiss_?

Magazines noted the importance of a _first kiss_ moment. She could have the option of kissing her palm, or a pillow, or into a mirror.

It seemed so silly.

But for almost an hour she practiced pursing her lips together. Her cheeks reddened as she did this, imagining a _pretend boy_ kissing her back and telling her she's a good kisser. It also said that there was possible _moaning_ during the kiss. Could it really be true?

_Knock, knock, knock!_

She jumped! Hitting her head on a shelf and falling on her side.

"Ellie…?" Joel knocked again," Ellie what are you doing in there?"

She grunted, rubbing her head," Nothing!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep!" she shouted.

"Well, I thought we'd go to the Billiard room, remember?"

Her thoughts were going a thousand miles an hour," What?"

"I was going to teach you about pool. But ever since last night, I thought I could teach you about the basics of gun handling."

She opened the door," I already know how to handle a gun. I've been handling a gun for nearly two years, if you include the deadline of my birthday. What do I need to take lessons for?"

"I'm not taking any chances," he retorted," come on. Come on out."

"Joel, I don't need to do this," she sighed, walking out of her room," Oh, come on! When are you going to trust me with a gun?"

"_When_ you don't come close to an inch of shooting my head off," he responded, closing the door behind her and following her into the other side of the room.

"That happened once!"

"Let's get started."

"Fine."

"Alright."

For the first few hours of the morning, Joel told Ellie the basics of the gun. How to hold the handle properly, unlock the safety, lock and load, aim, how to take it apart, and even clean it when the time comes. Joel set up bottles on the far side of the courtyard. All of them were aligned on a wooden board, shining perfectly in the sun.

Ellie stood with her arms outstretched holding her gun, standing directly at her target with tight shoulders and a firm stance.

Every once in a while, she would hit a target with a precise bulls eye. On the other hand, she had terrible aim. The bullets hit the boards, punching holes repeatedly. Those bottles weren't going anywhere. Joel feared this; because she was a young girl and there was no doubt that evil men would take advantage of her. She had to learn this because there would be times he wouldn't be there for her at all.

"Try again."

Ellie felt agitated.

_Pop!_

Another miss.

Joel squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers," Ok, try this."

Ellie felt him stand behind her with his outstretched arm and held her small hand. His hand overlapped her hand like a glove, warm and guiding. Even he noticed how small she was, and she seemed to be so warm. Joel shifted her feet with his ankles, kicking them apart so she could stand more firmly.

He whispered," Relax your shoulders. Both eyes open."

His large shadow casted over her body.

"Hold it tight. That's it. Now, breathe slow," He leaned forward over her," now count to 3."

He stepped back and watched her hold the trigger with more precision. There was confidence in her eyes. Joel anxiously stared at her finger, ready to pull the trigger. He observed for the longest time, holding in his breathe.

She softly counted," One… two…three…!"

Before his very eyes, all the bottles busted simultaneously! They shattered one by one, neatly in a row. All the bottles on the top shelf were destroyed, then all the bottles on the second shelf, then all the bottles on the third shelf. It was a perfect rhythm of gunshots. Not one bullet was wasted. His eyes widened and he stepped forward, standing beside her.

"Whoa. Great job, Ellie," he smirked," It takes professionals years and years to become that precise. Not even I can shoot like that."

He looked at her.

Ellie looked at him completely dumbfounded," I didn't shoot."

Joel replayed that in his head, pressing his lips together in a tight line. Both of them stood there looking at each other, before slowly turning towards the gate. There he was. The alpha of the group that invaded their house the other night standing with his gun outstretched towards the target. He pushed back his hood with his gloved hand, smiling warmly and placed his gun back in its pocket. Ellie remembered that smile.

Joel, instinctively, stepped in front of her.

"Good afternoon," he said before completely taking off his jacket and tossing it on the ground," I see you're teaching your daughter to defend herself. That's very noble for a father like you, especially with days like these passing over us like a plague," he threw his gloves to the ground next to his coat and smiled warmly," I remember those days when I had my own to take care of. It took many, many days to complete. Of course, they were simpler times."

He tossed his belt to the ground and kicked it towards them," But when you have to survive in these territories, you have to practice for many hours. So many grueling hours that it tests your instincts every day. It pushes you," he laughed heartily, standing before them confidently," Then when you reach a point in your life, a very special point… you certainly… become… _marvelously indestructible_."

Joel snarled," What do you want?"

The alpha put his hands up," I want you to know that I mean you know harm."

Ellie glanced to his coat, gloves, and belt.

That didn't mean anything.

This man could still obviously have a shiv on him or something.

He stepped forward," I had a thought in my head—"

"That's close enough," Joel warned, tipping the nose of the gun upwards.

Ellie observed the situation between these two strong men standing forward and unafraid, both hiding their un-breaking masculinity and keeping their threats hidden and stealthy. She could see the hostility in their eyes, burning against the other in an emotionless throwdown. It reminded her of two broad lions standing with thick smooth shoulders, darkening their fiery eyes, unable to battle with punches or throws.

"I'll ask again, stranger," Joel spoke with a smooth even voice, almost monotone," What do you want?"

He replied, "I want to help you."

"Why?" Ellie asked, but was quickly silenced by Joel.

"No! We don't need anything. We've been doing just fine for the past few weeks. Matter of fact, we'll be doing better than fine in the summer."

The alpha pointed with this finger," That's where you're wrong, good sir. You see those mountains up over yonder? Every year, ever since 20 years ago, snow has been falling like hell has come out of the good green earth. Now if you had a good sensible plan for you and your daughters future, you will listen to my proposal and hear me out," he paused, letting his words sink in," That is of course, you want to survive."

"Alright," Ellie stood in," Talk."

Joel glared at her.

The alpha smiled.

"Please, if you let me help you, I'll have your garden planted in the ground in one week or less and there's no need to wait to plant in the spring. It'll grow and grow and be ready after April. That is guaranteed for you, I promise. So when spring comes up around, you'll have a fresh stock of food. No need to eat from canned goods sitting in closets. No need to wait or worry, and it's a _win-win_ situation for you and your little girl there. Winter will not be a problem."

Joel scratched his chin," That's a very kind offer, but—"

"What are the benefits?" Ellie asked, stepping forward.

"No artificial flavors," the alpha joked, but continued," I was hoping to split the stock 50/50 with your group and my group. I put in my time and effort and you do the same, and in the end we all have something to be grateful for. Well… two things to be grateful for." He winked at Ellie.

Ellie was going to say something, but Joel stepped in front of her. His size and intimidating stare seemed to dwarf her, and she quickly shut up.

"We appreciate the offered hand. I understand that you are being generous. Generosity is rare to find from what I know. I also understand the rules of survival out in these parts. But all my life rules stand clear. We do not need your help. You tell your men the same thing I am telling you," he lowered his voice," This conversation is over."

Ellie never heard Joel's voice become so venomous.

As for the alpha, he stood with a straight back and stared at Joel as if admiring him for his independence and strength. The glint in his eyes flashed. He gave a nod and retrieved his belongings from the ground, dressing himself again. This battle of words ended, forcing him to retreat and step backwards from Joel's territory. She saw that he was being honest and almost supporting of them both.

But Ellie saw something else.

Something boiling within the alpha and he could feel it, too. Cathedral bells rung in her head as his blue eyes locked with hers, and he turned to leave.

But he'd be back.

_**The Next Day**_:

"I don't want you wandering around the beach anymore or anywhere near outside the gates. Don't go nowhere in the neighborhood without my knowing, neither. You must also tell me when you're going outside, because I know that they're focusing on the garden. That's what they want and I got a feeling they'll do absolutely anything for it. Now take these," he handed her a pack of ammo," Go to the Billiard Room and wait for me there. I'll go and bring the shelves up and block the doors."

"Joel, aren't you going a little overboard? I mean it was just a guy. One fucking guy and his goons that don't know which way is up."

"Ellie, how many times have I said that we can't take any chances. We can't trust anyone. We're on our own."

"Is it because of Henry and Sam?"

Joel signed," No, Ellie, it's not. No. No."

"But you know that we can't plant this all on our own! The garden is huge! Even for you it is too big!" she huffed, rolling her eyes," We can't do this on our own. Two people can't plant and harvest alone."

"Ellie, I have _no_ choice!" he growled," We cannot trust him!"

"Alright!" she retorted," But spring is going to kick our ass when the time comes."

She left the room.

For the remainder of the day, Joel has been obsessing over the safety of the Billiard Room. Dragging shelves and tables upstairs and stacking them over each other, creating a barrier. Nailing dismembered doors to the walls and plastering them over the windows. Placing cement blocks against the doors, stacking them like a castle guard. Their ammo supply would be sufficient to keep them alive, but it was not enough to protect them for at least a week. He stacked bricks and bottles against the wall. A few grenades were shoved into a sack hanging on the wall. His flamethrower hung on the door, ready to be used. There were so many real guaranteed promises that he saw in this room.

There was no reason to trust this stranger, and he knew that he needed to do this for Ellie. Ellie was somewhere in the house venting about their earlier argument, but he had to lay down the law. Joel would do his best to keep her safe, building enough security for them both.

The thought of _another David_ made his blood sizzle.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Joel had nothing planned for the evening at all.

A month ago Ellie would've fixed the table and he would eat with her, talking about the day and understanding the weather. Of course, things were different now.

There had been extreme changes in the mansion, lately. From top to bottom, Joel had enforced his law.

Ellie was forced to stay in her room for the remainder of the day (and the week) because he feared that intruders would come around. The only time she could leave is when she needed to do her business behind the bushes and then come straight back to her room.

There were no privileges anymore, not even when she wanted to walk along the ocean in the hot afternoons.

Ellie told him that it wasn't a big deal. She could take care of herself! She could take on those fuckers alone!

Joel would end the conversation before it would even start.

Then he'd usher her into her room.

End of story.

She had nothing else to say to him after that.

At times she would sit on her window seat and think about what was happening to her home. Other than being '_Under Management_' the house seemed to be transformed into a prison and a safe haven simultaneously.

Ever since the alpha came, Joel hasn't been himself. In some parts of the world, there were some animals in the jungle kingdom that were equipped with defensive mechanisms.

Almost like wolves, crocodiles, lions, or bighorn sheep. Riley told her this a long time ago when they were together. There were these magazines called _National Geographic_ (whatever that was) that she found in Pennsylvania around the time the Fireflies continued to rebel against the Guards.

Strong animals with killer instinct were the most deadly. Its fight for survival and hunger for territory were ruthless, which seemed to describe Joel and the alpha. But what animal were they? A wolf? A crocodile?

They'd fight for territory and occasionally for a watering hole or a meal, but that's beside the point.

_Emily's Journal_

_It's been forever since I've seen Dylan and my dad says that I can't go to Homecoming this weekend because of my stupid homework. My grades have been flopping in Geometry and World History and mom is worried I won't go to a clean pristine college like she did when she was my age._

_Everyone keeps asking me to grow up, but I'm 16! What's the big deal? Harvard and Yale will always be there. Timothy says that being an adult is the best job in the world. But when I try and act like an adult, my parents don't even give me a chance. I'm not a baby anymore!_

_But whatever, I already consider myself as an adult. I'm not going to Yale anymore. Tomorrow I have an interview for a job, Dylan says he loves me and we're going to get a place on our own. I know it'll be perfect! Dylan has a job at Home Depot and he's going to place as Manager. So proud of him!_

_He's my __forever!_

_Dear Diary_

_It's been two days since I've been cooped up here. The TV news has been yapping about something bad happening. Dad won't let me see and mom has taken her Stress pills and bunkered in her bedroom. Tim came up to my room and bragged about the joy of Homecoming and how I can't tag along. I told him," Go fuck yourself," and meant it._

_All my friends have been posting Tweets and Facebooking me about their hairstyles and sending me pictures of their dresses hanging on their closet doors. The bitches._

_Dear Diary_

_Tonight is Homecoming. I've got a bowl of popcorn, some Redvines, and wearing my knitted sweater. Mom didn't do laundry tonight. I'm watching Bridesmaids._

_Bored as hell and Tim keeps sending me texts of the football stadium and the game and he didn't bother sending a damn video__._

_Everyone is wearing heavy wool coats and wearing giant foam fingers. It looks cold. That asshole. He knew how much I wanted to come._

_If I ever re-read this entry that I'll remember that my life is officially down the toilet._

_But he thinks I'm still 6 years old. I'm not stupid! I know what I want to do with my life. No one understands me! Dad found out I'm moving with Dylan and it's not bad enough that I had my Prius taken away. He's even taken my iPhone10s away, too._

_Why is he such a psycho control freak!?_

_He thinks that something awful is going to happen to me. All he thinks about is work, work, and more work! He doesn't know Dylan the way I do! But why can't he see that I'm old enough to take care of myself!? He doesn't get it! No one does! I can't wait to get out of this place and never come back!_

Ellie closed her journal and thought about her situation. Emily was a brat, no doubt. She also had no idea the Outbreak came to Washington that Friday night and everyone at Homecoming had died. She quickly evacuated with her family, into Canada to live with her grandparents. She never heard from Dylan again.

But on some level, Ellie could relate to Emily.

First: she knew that deep down inside, somewhere in her young, collective soul, that she was developing small, yet strong, and unmovable feelings. She didn't need journal entries or magazines or scientific research to know what these feelings were. In many ways; it was beautiful.

These feelings were uplifting, acting like an umbrella after you jump off the edge of the earth, enabling you to float here and there and everywhere. It was lovely and it made her do things and think things that she never thought she would in a million years.

But she wouldn't give up her education for a boy! She wouldn't give up her future for a fucking boy!

Ellie would look in the mirror and wonder out loud to herself. Were these feelings becoming stronger? Were these feelings '_already there__'_ and she hadn't noticed until now? But most importantly of all: she believed these feelings were directed towards Joel.

She didn't know how, but it just happened.

Second: Emily's father did seem to be over-protective. Joel also protected her from the alpha and any other stranger that came near them. Joel was a man set in his ways, unable to commit to a conversation for 5 minutes, and his cold visage told her that he wasn't much of a romantic. Most of all, he didn't seem to return her feelings.

"So why do I feel this way?" she asked herself, looking into the mirror," There's no fucking way that it could happen. Ever!"

**Inside the Compound:**

Among all else, the strange room had been silent for hours, growing colder and emptier by the day, nearly declaring the facility haunted.

Although the room had been used for its dedicated requirements, the Alpha still sat in his chair, his body had not moved from its spot.

All his posters and research papers and sticky-notes were plastered over all 6 walls, irremovable and scrawled with notes, information, and thoughts. So many authors and professors had completed their fair share in the knowledge of _The Race of Mankind, Human Biology, _and the_ End of Man._

What they put in science books… had changed.

It was all true! The truth of Armageddon stared him right in the face.

The Alpha sat and sat and pondered, reeling in philosophies and myths.

Back when he was a professor, back in the simple days, he would stare into his scope for hours and hours glimpsing into the wide vast ocean. His eyes would often sting and complain due to his obsession with his job.

It was considered unhealthy, but his mild disorder controlled his decisions in life. He had, _once_, loved the ocean and the stars and the beauty of Life. It was his passion and his passion had transformed into a muse.

But that was a long, long, long, long time ago.

The Alpha stood against the sunlight shining through his grimy window.

"He goes on instinct, that man," he said through his smiling teeth, wiping his hands together," It caught my attention the first he stepped foot into my city. There's a certain charm he has with strangers. He has even taught his daughter this charm, making strangers feel unwelcome. Making them feel threatened, but otherwise, intrigued like a moth to a flame in a very exciting way.

"Lying in bed a few days ago, I hummed a tune to myself but soon gave up as I had already begun to forget the words. It made me sad for the longest time, unable to hear a song humanity had once created 20 years ago. Unable to remind me of my life before darkness had clouded over," he turned his head towards his darkened room, his eyes like bruises staring a thousand miles into the wall," Until I saw her."

There he stopped for a moment to calm himself, to swallow, to compose his face, which had twisted itself into ticks and grimaces. He looked to the beach and he continued quietly, confidentially, as though sharing a secret.

"Ellie is quite charismatic. She's a favorite of my other initiates," he smirked and his eyes glowed, focusing hard," Fearless, dynamic, completely ungovernable—she brought life to the convent, and we survivors adore her for it. I, especially, adored her for it, for unlike the others, she made me feel unwelcome. Indeed, she cultivated my devotion. She made me remember the song, completely."

He spun around on his heel!

All his hopes were rushing through his head.

Striking his mind, like a lightning bolt, tossing and burning ideas and beliefs into his head.

"Then I saw it! I saw it! I know I saw it!" he yelled, holding his arms up towards the walls," I saw a vision of Life! It was crystal clear! The answer was held out before me and I knew that one day, someday, that I would save Us all from extinction. All my life after the Outbreak, I dedicated my work and dreams and hopes to this exact moment and now… I will not fail you!" the Alpha turned towards a picture.

His red-rimmed blue eyes burned onto the glossy paper, locking eyes onto the beautiful face of a woman, pulling him forward like two beautiful supermassive black holes. In her arms lay a baby infant, small and petite, almost smiling onto his mother's bosom while his eyes drooped and falling into a sleep.

The Alpha's feet slowly walked—dragged—stooped—and tumbled until he was crawling towards a picture of his family, stretching out his arm until he touched her hair. Trace along her cheek and touch his son's head, deeply wishing he could pet his soft hair once more.

That soft baby hair and his soft baby skin.

He lowered his voice," I will not fail you."

**Back At the Mansion**:

"Ellie! Don't be like this! Open the door," Joel called through the door.

"Joel! Just forget it! Just admit that you're imprisoning us on purpose!" she shouted, leaning her back against the wall.

"It's not on purpose! It's just so we can have time to get back on our feet! Don't you see? We need to work together on this."

"Well Joel, you should've thought of that when the Alpha was here! It's a one-way highway!"

"It's a two-way highway in my book! They're not safe to be around! I can't trust them. Now you can get your act together and help me!"

"Safety in numbers and all that, remember? That's what I said to you when we met Henry and Sam! We helped each other!"

"I do not have time for this! Whenever you're ready, just grab this here shovel and come outside. The garden and I will be waiting for you." He placed the shovel against the door knob.

She wanted to scream _Why are you such a psycho control freak_!? Her lungs would've felt the release of aggression and frustration, but her lips pressed together tightly, keeping quiet until she heard him descend the stairs.

But they both knew that's not who Joel is.

Why couldn't he face fact? There is absolutely no way that they can plant in the spring and expect to have food for next winter, it will take a lot of work. The garden was measured to be at least a mile long in length and Joel was way over his head this time, and she knew it. There were certain things they had to keep in mind like seeds, stock, water, insects, crows, and hungry critters.

They didn't have enough tools to do this, they would need more rakes, shovels, and even big machines to clear and reforest. Perhaps it was his pride he tried to protect with all those chairs and tables in the Billiard room, or maybe it was his ego. But all that didn't make sense. That's not who Joel was.

"He's just trying to do his best," she whispered, and confirmed _that_ is who Joel was.

She looked out the window watching him shovel gravel, sweating, thrusting the nose of the tool into the ground and scooping. He looked so small from her view, so belittled, but she was somewhat touched by his ruthless efforts. For days he's been doing this, taking care of their necessities.

The garden was for her, and for her alone. That's why he had rejected to share the stock with the intruders.

Smiling, she whispered, "He's just protecting me."

**Later That Day:**

"I'm sorry," Ellie whispered as she sat across from Joel.

He didn't look at her.

"For earlier today," she said, wiping her mouth and looking at down to the floor. "It was all bullshit. Tomorrow I promise I'll help you, okay? Not a word or peep. I swear."

Still, he didn't look at her.

She wanted to jump up now, force him to hear her confession. To hear what she had to say, because his silence was worse than not hearing anything from him at all.

"That's the trouble, all right," she said, nodding slowly, solemnly. "I know that these _troubles_ are getting in the way day after day. I just can't control it and every once in a while, I have to let you know how I feel, and that's not what you want, but it's the only way that I can feel better. That's the trouble."

He looked at her," What is?"

"What?"

"The trouble- what are these _troubles_?"

"What?"

They gaped at each other helplessly.

"Shit," she said then, lifting a hand wearily to shade her blushing cheeks. "I forgot what we were talking about. Forget it. Forget it. I'm shutting up now."

Joel stepped forward," Is there something you want to say?"

"Forget it, Joel," she scooted away," Wouldn't expect you to understand anyway."

"Understand what?" he stopped himself. "Fine, don't tell me."

Even though Joel didn't say a word to her the entire night, Ellie reminded herself that something's are better left unsaid.

So she and Joel slept in the Billiard room that night, returning back to the couch, sleeping side by side which proved to be greatly comforting. She missed placing her forehead against his back, while tucking her hands under her arms and snuggling. He slept like a rock that night, releasing his stress and worries, knowing they were tucked away into his bunker, executing all suspicions of the Alpha and his congress of louts.

She took advantage of this situation, giving her a chance to run away with her thoughts and daydreaming about him in ways she shouldn't.

Her hormones were talking to her. Talking to her about the strange and exuberant feeling of having someone you adore lay next to you, and the feeling had multiplied because the cruel world can tear him away from you. Her hormones told her to cherish him now, before it's too late. They also told her to touch his shoulder blade, feeling the strong smooth bone under his hot skin rub against her forefinger. This act was done out of mere curiosity and half was done out of daydreaming. Daydreaming that he'd feel her finger, turn around towards her, and softly gently kiss the back of her hand sweetly with his lips.

Daydreaming and daydreaming of him responding, actually responding to her advances. They were small advances, but enough to allow him to take control over the situation.

What kind of control, she asked herself, who knows, but she imagined him being gentle with her. Like red rose petals pressed in snow white sheets making love to moonlight in their sleep, blissful and sweet. In the house of Ellie and Joel, they both fell asleep in their bunker and the moon seemed to smile on their home.

**The Next Morning:**

It was too real.

It was too real to not be noticed.

Joel chucked the nose of his axe into the log, chopping it in half, hearing the wood squeak, and craning it upon his shoulder again. Sweat dropped from his forehead, stinging his eyes and running onto his lips. Tasting salt water on his tongue and that wasn't the only trouble he tasted on his tongue either.

"It didn't happen," he growled, swinging down his axe with ferocity. "It didn't happen," he grunted.

He dropped his axe to the ground and glanced to the mansion, that faraway distant mansion up on the hill. He knew it was best to give Ellie some space after what he had done last night. And all the heavy axe swings in the world couldn't help release the tension building up in his head, but it only made it worse, making it evident of his inner crime.

"It didn't happen," he repeated. "I didn't do it."

He wiped his face and pressed his fingers against his temples, easing himself into consciousness. The sun burned a tangerine red over the sea as it rose from the foggy clouds and watching it rise was quite beautiful. The color reminded him of Ellie's dress, beautiful and sophisticated. It was so enchanting, too.

Maybe kissing her on the corner of her lip was a mistake.

Or maybe not.

Ellie woke up nearly two hours after Joel had left the bedroom. She rose from the couch and walked to the doors and stood there for the longest time. She yawned, stretching her limbs and legs outward. The morning air was fresh and delightful and it's as if she can taste the morning air. It was lovely and she liked it.

"Joel?" she opened the door, walking down the hallway. "Where are you? I'm ready to help the garden, now."

She walked outside, opening the double doors, feeling the wind rush from the ocean and onto her body. The sun gleamed onto her face.

"Joel?" she shouted, looking in both directions.

She took one step forward— _crunch!_

"What the…?" she looked down and saw a basket covered with a cloth.

It sat on the back porch and it was tied with a woven bow. The bow was made of woven grass, dried and yellow.

Kneeling down, she unveiled it.

"Oh, hell yea, awesome! I'm fucking hungry," she smiled holding up apples, peaches, nectarines, and grapes.

It was a basket of fruit, beautiful and tasty. All kinds of assorted fruits piled up together, like beautiful pieces of art ready to be painted on a canvas. Her palm massaged the cool solid green apple before she took a satisfying bite! Juices slipped down her chin and her lips suckled on her target.

"Mmmm" she hummed; chewing slowly and feeling the insides of her cheeks swell and buzz with flavor.

"Thank you, Joel," she mumbled, wiping her mouth with her arm.

She placed the basket back up in her room, upon her bed.

For the next hour she searched throughout the entire mansion for her older companion and going into the East Wing, entering a large room, spacious and dark. It had a funny smell to the atmosphere, which worried her. She or Joel never entered this part of the mansion before, so she took a pistol and a shiv with her, just in case.

She had no choice at all; he wasn't in the garden, in the living room, the kitchen, wandering around in the courtyard or the other bedrooms on the second floor. He wasn't anywhere near the Pool of Death or at the tree house.

Ellie pushed opened the double doors, pushing forward into new territory. The doors creaked out, pouring in light onto the marble floors. The heavy drapes upon the windows above were torn, shining in bits of sunlight into the dusty dorm, thickening the air.

She stepped forward on broken beach chairs, umbrellas, serving plates, and plastic toys in the shape of dolphins and starfish. Quickly, her hand dipped into her pocket, taking out a small silver fluid lighter. She switched it on, the small candle-like fire trembling in the dark; she was in a Pool House!

Not a mouse stirred in this empty place.

"Joel?"

_Something_ moved.

It walked over _somewhere_.

Then she heard _it_ again.

It moved!

"Joel?"

Two big green eyes looked at her—glowing and burning—big and round. She stared back at whatever it was, gripping her gun tightly, feeling a rush of adrenaline.

She whispered, "Joel?"

The ground vibrated.

A white color flashed in her eyes.

In a silent slow motion eternity—Ellie flew backwards, out of the pool house, through the doors, forcefully sliding into the hallway before coming to a tumbling halt. She recollected everything and it all happened so fast! Her chest and jaw hurt. Her eyes spun. She flipped over on her stomach, bug crawling further away from those dark doors. Her head looked over her shoulder and saw the monster who struck her!

"Joel! Joel! Bloater!" she yelled, trembling on her knees. "Ugh, shit!"

Ellie limped on her right leg, hopping against the wall.

_Braaaaaaaawwrrr_ !

She glanced over her shoulder. The beast, fat and stumbling, twitched and swung its arms like wrecking balls against everything it touched! His feet had been stained with blood leaving behind bloody footsteps, leaving behind remnants of its last victim.

_Braaaaaaaawwrrr_ !

Its mouth, large and drooling, chomped and chomped on the air, as if looking for its next meal. Raising its nose in the air, the beast began smelling for any signs of life. The bloater immediately stopped moving and looked at Ellie.

_**BRAAAWWWRRRRR**_ !

It charged!

"Shit!"

Her hand fumbled for her pistol! No, No! Where was it? She glanced down the hallway. Her eyes focused. There it was! She grunted, moving forward, crawling faster and faster! Her left leg hurt! Her eyes dilated in terror! She could feel it run behind her! Stomping hard and coming closer and closer!

Reach for it!

Reach farther!

Pistol.

Lock and load.

Finger on the trigger!

Spinning around, she popped bullets into its fat head! Blood flew across the air, staining the wall, and it tossed its head around until it stumbled backwards onto a table.

"Joel!" she yelled, limping towards the windows.

She jumped out, falling to the ground with a thud, and began to crawl through the weeds and dried vines. Her feet shuffled through the weeds until she was dragging herself into another part of the backyard. Looking back, the bloater busted through the window, collapsing the brick wall and dashing after her!

"Fuck!"

_Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

_BRAAAAAWWWRRRRR!_

_Pop! Pop! Pop!_

Blood splattered on her coat and something dragged her into the bushes. The leaves and twigs blocked her vision of the bloater being shot in the head multiple times! It flung itself to the bushes and it looked angry.

"What the hell!?"

"I got you! Can you walk?"

"Fucking no! My leg's hurt."

"Hang onto my neck, come on," he picked her up and carried her to the nearest open space.

_BRAAAAAWWWRRRR!_

"It's not going down! It's not going down!"

"Go, go! Get the fucking shot gun! Round about!"

Ellie grunted," What the fuck is going on!?"

He glanced down at her," That abomination back there is hard to kill if you hadn't noticed. We're almost there, just hang on a bit longer."

"Almost where!?"

His arms cramped on her body, running uncomfortably across the yard! The combat against the bloater was a hard fix! More gun pops were heard behind them! Getting louder and louder like fireworks, blasting.

"Where are we going!?" she shouted.

"Going to find your father!"

Ellie could not see anything from this man's chest, tucking her head away from the imminent danger! He ran as quickly as he could, before laying her down behind a stone wall. A blonde head of hair eclipsed the sun and before she knew it, her eyes gazed heavily into two blue orbs. She gasped, remembering Joel's warnings about this man.

"You again," she hissed.

"Ah, you remember me. I was afraid the spat I had with your father would—"

"He's not my father!"

The Alpha glanced to her with a wicked wolf grin," Oh, he's not is he? That is very good to know, Ellie."

"How do-"

"That's not important right now. What's important is your safety. You must protect yourself and for the time being, I must protect you as well. Here," he handed her a rifle, locked and loaded. "I assume you know how to use it. I'll fly and you cover. I'll be going for my flamethrower across the yard. There, do you see it? When that monster is near, you know what to do."

She nodded, kneeling.

"Ow, shit…!"

"What is it?"

"My leg," she grunted.

"Oh, it must be broken. Let me see. Yes, as I suspected, a bruise right there below your knee," he glanced up. "I can't help you now. But stay strong. Cover me and it will be over before you know it."

**At the Same Moment**:

Joel looked into himself, struggling to resolve the conflict within- between compliance to his better nature of his desires and the desire to be left entirely to his own devices. He was aged but even he knew he was not completely 'old' like the other men in this country who had seen better days in the 1950's. He was too solitary, too imposing in his unyielding beliefs in what was fair and what was not. There was always whispered gossip of a past life, supposedly unlawful but never precisely named, that created a space for solitude.

Drinking water from the creek was like biting into a piece of metal that had long been buried in the snow, and it would sting the back of his head if drunk too deeply. Joel splashed this water on his face, shocking his pores and skin into a scolding freeze. The water dripped under his shirt, torturing him silently and painfully, awakening him physically. But his better judgment still seemed to be executed.

To awaken his better judgment to accept help with his garden when he desperately needed it and his better judgment to listen to Ellie's advice and put down his goddamn stubbornness. To awaken his better judgment when he had kissed Ellie on the corner of her mouth and sweetly savoring her taste for a moment. And, especially, to awaken his better judgment to not fall in love with a teenage girl.

He needs to talk to her. Today.

After taking the bucket of water to the mansion, he stopped in his tracks, his eyes focusing on his home.

He stood there for the longest time, before quickly realizing something was wrong.

Deep within his gut, he could smell danger in the air; he could feel it in his eyes.

Suddenly 1—2—3—4 flashes of white were seen in the windows.

Gunshots.

_Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!_

"Ellie."

The buckets were dropped to the ground, spilling the water as he rushed inside. He whipped out his gun, stepping into the doors, and looking in all directions once he was inside the living room. Everything looked normal here, but that only made him worry more.

"Ellie!?" he called out. "Ellie, where are you!?"

The gunshots were coming from outside!

He ran out onto the porch, turning in each direction, gripping his gun.

She was nowhere in sight!

"Ellie!? Ellie, answer me!"

"Joel!" she called.

"Ellie! Ellie! Where are you?"

She came limping from around the corner of the stone wall, carrying a rifle.

She came to a stop," Joel! Joel! You should've seen it! I was shooting bullets at its head but it wasn't dying! Then it came after me! I ran! Then I shot more bullets. It was so big! I had to reload a lot of bullets and- and- and…!"

"Slow down , slow down! Hey, slow down!" he looked at her arms and hands. "Are you hurt? Bleeding anywhere? What's wrong with your leg?"

"I think it's broken," she admitted, glancing down.

"What? How did that happen? Damn it Ellie, I told you not to leave the house, ever!"

"Well, I tried looking for you but you weren't there and I was worried and I—"

"I was out getting us water!"

"You didn't leave a note! It's not my fucking fault you can't communicate."

"Ok. Ok. Ok, here's how this is going to play out. You're going up to the bunker, I'll help you with the stairs, and you stay there and I'm going to kill whatever is out there."

"But, Joel, you don't understand-"

"No. No, this discussion is over. Now, let's head on back. Come on."

She crossed her arms, "Well, remind me to _not_ thank you for the gift basket you got me this morning!"

"What are you on about? What gift?"

"You left me a basket of fruit for me on the porch this morning."

"That wasn't me."

"Yea, it was. It had to have been you!"

"I got no idea what you're talking about!" he raised his voice.

Both stared at the other for the longest time, looking into each other's eyes, before they came to the conclusion that there was another player at work here. Ellie should've known that the morning breakfast of fruit from her companion was too good to be true. Joel hung his head back and scratched his chin. Ellie stepped back, realizing what was happening (again).

Joel closed his eyes," You are a very persuasive man, a very tenacious man, to keep showing up on our doorstep."

The Alpha stepped forward," I hope you don't think I'm dangerous anymore. I thought that I could earn your trust by giving you a gift. A very generous gift, if I could say so myself. Giving you a small taste of what I could offer."

Ellie gawked," Ohhhh, so you're the one with the fruit."

His blue eyes flashed," Yes, guilty as charged, your honor. I thought it would persuade you to see the light. Think of it as a… torch of destiny."

A cord was struck.

"You're a crafty one," Joel admitted. "You're also a very good speaker, if I do say so myself."

The Alpha stepped forward and took off his bandana, tucking it in his back pants pocket.

"Better to carry a tune than a grudge. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot? Allow me to introduce myself, please," he smiled warmly, glancing at Ellie for a second. "My name is James. Just James. How do you do?"

The Next Month:

Late in January the snow stopped falling and the very air seemed to freeze around them. The drifts became fortresses of ice and the stream froze solid, so that we had to melt blocks of it in the fire for drinking and cooking. The livestock could not be taken outside for long for fear of laming them and so became restive on their tethers. Joel and Ellie had come in early one morning for feeding but they were careful to stay away from the shuffling feet of the oxen and the cow. The bulls rocked to and fro in his stall, shaking and rolling his eyes. Ellie had brought an apple from the cellar to quiet him, and as she drew near, she saw a man leaning heavily against the door frames of the barn. With arms folded tightly against his chest, his head dipped down in casual friendly and curious way, and his foot tucked behind his ankle.

James smiled warmly, in silence, as Ellie looked at him rebelliously, but with curiosity. His face was ruddy from the cold, but the flesh under his eyes looked scorched, the fluid pooling in his orbs as with a fever.

It was the beginning of a new year for all of them.

(A/N) Ok, ok, I feel that I've been letting my readers down. Also I've been having terribly Writers Block for a few days. Is there any way that I can boost my story to a new high? I can take as MANY suggestions as I can. Whoever gives me the best ideas will have a shoutout on the next chapter. Thank you.


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